Tastes of Home
by Azure K Mello
Summary: An ex comes to stir up Everwood, poor Ephram gets confused and hurt. Slash and angst. EOMC with tones of BE.
1. 1

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Warnings: slash, angst, original male character.  
  
Part:1  
  
Distribution: ask me.  
  
Rated: R  
  
Spoilers: through to "Blind Faith"  
  
He had tried his best. Despite everything that had happened Ephram had still harbored his crush on Amy right up until that moment. He had opened up to her and told her about the death of his mom. They were closing the pool for the night and he had started to tell her about how he knew she must have felt. And then she had turned to him and with one statement had caused all of his feels for her to die. She told him she wished that Andy wasn't his dad because every time she looked at Ephram all she could see was his father and what he had done to Colin.  
  
At first he had been upset and defended his dad, and then later he thought over her words and found them simply amusing. The fact was, she had *never* seen him as anything *but* Dr. Brown's son. The whole reason she had cultivated their unnatural friendship was to get Ephram to have his dad look at her comatose boyfriend. And Ephram had put aside his crush and asked Andy to try. It wasn't his fault that it had gone wrong, and it wasn't his dad's fault either. Amy was just using it as an excuse to drop Ephram, which was fine, his pathetic obsession had run its course.  
  
And Bright had watched him all summer. Either out of pity or actual respect he had cultivated a friendship with Ephram. It had started with Colin and the understanding that they both wanted him ok. Bright had watched as the whole town had shunned the Brown's and admired Ephram's strength and the fact that he ignored it all, he had realized that maybe Ephram was used to it and he had reached out. He was thankful that Ephram had tried so hard with Amy and when all was said and done he liked the boy. . . maybe a little too much.  
  
School started again and it wasn't as scary. He had a friend in the crowd and one friend was better than what he had started with last year. He tried to remember that he only had two more years to go. He tried in class and just hoped that things would go smoothly. Then the whole Madison episode had happened. But even she wasn't too bad, he could cope with her. After all, she liked Delia so how bad could she be? He walked towards Bright's car at the end of the day. He had failed his drivers test the day before but Bright had made some joke about lugging Ephram's ass around and it had all been ok. He had seen the look in Bright's eyes and almost pitied the older boy. He knew a crush when he saw one. Ephram liked being the object of someone's affections. Moreover he knew he would never have to deal with them. Which was good as he didn't have the energy to help someone with their sexuality crisis. Bright was too much of a homophobe to ever act on anything he felt. Just as he reached the pickup someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and was confronted by Amy.  
  
"Can we be friends again?"  
  
"Ok?" he replied slightly confused.  
  
"Thank-you." She threw her backpack into the truck bed and climbed into the car.  
  
And just as Ephram was about to climb in after her, he felt another tap on his shoulder. And as he turned his mouth was caught by the mouth of the taller boy. "Do you know?" said Ephram as he broke away, "you are still the only person who greets me like that."  
  
"What, you mean in this cosmopolitan atmosphere no one kisses hello?" asked Jack with a lilting smile.  
  
"Jackson what are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see you."  
  
"Ephram?" said Bright from behind him. "Are you going to introduce us?"  
  
"Bright and Amy, this is Jackson. A friend from back east."  
  
"So where's your whole entourage?" asked Jack with a smile.  
  
"This is kind of it."  
  
"The great Ephram Brown has consigned himself to hanging out with two people? You're fucking me."  
  
"No I'm not." His voice was slow and cold. Jack reached his hand into Ephram's back pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "For fuck's sake. Do you have any other great plans? You've ousted my nicotine addiction within three minutes of getting here. Next you'll be talking about the time I split my lip open and cried like a bitch with a skinned knee even though really I couldn't feel it as I was so drunk I could barely stand."  
  
"That was a fun night." Jack smirked at him. "I missed you, Eff."  
  
Bright and Amy were shocked by Ephram's outburst. A swearing, smoking Ephram was not someone they knew. This new side of Ephram was somewhat unnerving.  
  
"I could tell. What with all the letters you wrote," Ephram was sarcastic and biting.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"How is everyone?"  
  
"Danni got into Julliard and dyed her hair green as apparently her old colour was passé and mainstream."  
  
"Wasn't it blue?"  
  
"Yeah. And Andy and Jay are still at school with me. Jax dropped out the minute he turned sixteen, working for his uncle. Olivia is well, doing something I don't understand on the stock market but still at school. Janet and Dave transferred to Regent High, I don't really know why. The clique got expelled for. ."  
  
"Let me guess," interrupted Ephram, "dealing."  
  
"It was inevitable. Apparently if it had been pot they only would have been suspended. But you know them, they figured why deal weed when you can do heroin." Jack agreed with a nod. "We all miss you."  
  
"Why are you here?" asked Ephram again.  
  
The coldness in Ephram's voice cut Jack to the core. "I just wanted to see you."  
  
"So are you leaving now?"  
  
"Eff, please, come for a walk with me. All I want is ten minutes and if you still hate me I'll leave. I could say it all right here but I've already ruined you rep with the cigarettes so why do more damage by airing all your dirty little secrets."  
  
"Ten minutes," said Ephram softly. He cast an apologetic look to the pair in the truck, "Bright I'm sure I'll talk to you later." 


	2. 2

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Warnings: slash, angst, original male character.  
  
Part:2  
  
Distribution: ask me.  
  
Rated: R  
  
Spoilers: through to "Blind Faith"  
  
"Why the fuck are you here?" asked Ephram as they wandered into the woods.  
  
"I needed to see you."  
  
"I finally got over all of your trauma and then here you are. I got to a point wherein I *wasn't* envious of road kill. Suddenly you just decided out of the blue to look me up?"  
  
"Eff, don't be like that."  
  
Sighing heavily Ephram said, "I need to call Madison, Delia's babysitter."  
  
"Kidtastic has a sitter?"  
  
"My father's gone fatherly," he said with a shrug.  
  
"What's up with you being the good son? No smoking in public, calling when your late. Where is my Ephram and what have you done with him?"  
  
"Your Ephram is dead."  
  
"Dramatic much?"  
  
"I have to call Madison." Ephram turned as he punched his number into his rarely used cell phone. "Hi."  
  
"Ephram?" she sounded confused.  
  
"I'm going to be late. An old friend from the city turned up."  
  
"Would he like to come to dinner?"  
  
"I highly doubt he'll be staying that long."  
  
"Well I'll cook enough so he's more than welcome."  
  
"Thanks, oh and would you tell Delia that Jackson said hello." He shot a dirty look at Jackson. "Goodbye, Madison," he said and hung up.  
  
"That's cute, Ephram."  
  
"She still loves you. She missed you like mad when we got here."  
  
Jackson swallowed hard. He hadn't wanted this to be difficult. The scene had played out so many times in his mind. He would grovel and Ephram would forgive. "I'm sorry I never wrote back. I was afraid to fuck things up more and then it got to a point where I felt it would be weird for me to just start writing and then you stopped."  
  
"I wrote 63 letters before I gave up, I felt like such a fool. But I could only run into a brick wall so many times before giving up." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So who's Jackson?" asked Madison as she got pipe cleaners down from the shelf for Delia to make bugs with for school.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Ephram said to tell you Jackson said hello."  
  
"Jackson Fairweather?"  
  
"Do you know any other Jacksons?"  
  
"He lives in New York."  
  
"Ephram said that a friend from New York."  
  
"He's not a friend." Delia said knowingly.  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"You can't tell Ephram I told you."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"You have to pinky swear. He would kill me if he knew I told you."  
  
"I swear."  
  
"Jackson. . . was Ephram's boyfriend. But they broke up. Very badly."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"You're not a bigot. Are you?" she asked using a word she hadn't even heard since they left the city.  
  
"No, I'm just a little surprised is all."  
  
"Ephram isn't moody because he hates Dad, or the town, or because Mom died. He's just moody. When Jackson was with him he was happy. And then Mom died, and Jackson and he weren't together, and Dad brought us here, and Ephram was moody again. I used to like Jackson, he was fun and he made Ephram happy. But now I don't." She scowled.  
  
"He might be coming to dinner. And if he is you should be nice to him if only for Ephram's sake."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So why are we here?" asked Ephram as he sat on a fallen log and lit a cigarette from the pack. "What do you want from me?" Jackson leaned down and Ephram pushed him away harshly. "If you kiss me I will hit you so hard you will go back to New York bleeding."  
  
"You still hate me." Jackson nodded and stepped back, "That's fair. But since when did you do things simply because they were justified. You were forgiveness."  
  
"Things change."  
  
"Yeah, I guess they do."  
  
"I don't hate you."  
  
"You don't?"  
  
"Maybe it makes me a total fucking moron. I never hated you. Even when you were jumping up and down on my heart I still loved you. And I thought with all this time that if you came back I would have not cared. That I could stand by you without needing to touch you."  
  
"I never wanted to hurt you."  
  
Ephram looked up as tears fell down his face. He took a pull and then said, "I believe you. Which makes you even more pathetic than if you had been trying to rip me to pieces."  
  
"I'm so sorry."  
  
"I never got you. Did you just want "the great Ephram Brown"? Was that it? Was it conquest of the popular kid? To prove you could do it?"  
  
"You know it wasn't anything like that!"  
  
"No, your right you stuck around long enough to make me so amazingly happy. I never realized life could not suck until you dragged me into the light with you. But the minute I wasn't happy anymore you dropped me. Like a hot fucking stone. Dating tip: don't dump someone two weeks after their mom dies it's tacky!" 


	3. 3

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part:3  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
A/N: Bif means boyfriend. Some people write bf if this is said out loud it becomes bif.  
  
"That was weird," said Amy jogging her brother from his thoughts.  
  
"What meeting Ephram's ex?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked Amy looking truly confused, "I just meant that Ephram smoking and swearing was odd."  
  
"And they say you're the smart one. That was Ephram's ex, that's why it was all so intense."  
  
"Ephram's straight. Remember? He likes me."  
  
"I'm not arguing with that. I don't think that's really the point. All I'm saying is that in the not too distant past he and that Jackson guy were more than friends." He smiled, "Sorry, if it bursts your bubble."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So did you come to apologize?" asked Ephram in an affected bored tone still shaking with his outburst.  
  
"No, I came to beg."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to protect you," Ephram opened his mouth to speak but Jackson placed a finger over the boys mouth, "give me a minute. Ok? I was so afraid of saying something tactless and hurting you further. I didn't want to be the cause of your pain. I was an idiot. You were drowning in pain already and I was so afraid to hurt you. And by the time I realized what a huge mistake I had made and how much I loved you: you were gone. Please, Eff, I know how badly I fucked up. I know how much I hurt you. But I'm begging you to give me another chance."  
  
Laughing dryly Ephram said, "No."  
  
"But," Jackson was confused. "You said you loved me."  
  
"I do. And that's why this can't happen. It would *mean* something to me. When you kissed me back there at the truck I nearly melted."  
  
Slowly it dawned on Jackson what Ephram had thought he meant. "Ephram, I love you. I want you back. I wouldn't drive across the country for a hookup. . . maybe good Chinese food but not a hookup. There's no one I can even think of but you."  
  
"It's a pity. If you had come for Chinese food you might have gotten some satisfaction."  
  
"Why can't this happen? Please?"  
  
He shrugged and knew his words would hurt the boy he had once considered his red headed god. And while he didn't want to hurt Jackson he couldn't bring himself to make up excuses, they had always been honest to one another. "Because I don't trust you. Because what happens next time you decide you decide what's best for me? You made a mistake back there at Bright's truck, you said that you were my dirty secret. We both know that it isn't true."  
  
"Bright? Are you and he?"  
  
"Don't be fucking stupid."  
  
"He looks at you-"  
  
"That doesn't matter! I don't want him!" Ephram's eyes held nothing but pain and anger.  
  
"So there's been no one?"  
  
"There was one person. But I set it up to fail."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why do you think? I didn't want her I just wanted to be normal."  
  
"*Her*?"  
  
"Don't be such a child."  
  
"So you are keeping secrets."  
  
"Not for the reasons you think."  
  
"Then why? Why are you pretending to be something you aren't?"  
  
"Mom never liked that I was gay. She wasn't upset or anything. Just scared that I would get sick, or bullied, or any of the other things the media would have you believe instantly happen to someone if they aren't straight. So I thought I could be different when I came here, or that I could at least pass as normal. I made sure it would fail. That I couldn't be with Amy."  
  
"Amy? That girl!"  
  
"Her boyfriend was in a coma and she was lovesick. And then Dad got the bif out of the coma but then killed him in follow up surgery. There was never any danger of having to actually date her."  
  
"So you're pretending to be something you aren't to make your dead mother happy?!! I'll tell you what I think: I think you're a coward. I think you're too ashamed to tell people who you are."  
  
"You can't play the righteous, moral card with me. I'm not the one who fucked up. You dumped a boy you are purportedly in love with because you were too scared to stand by him. It doesn't matter if these people don't know what I am, *they* don't matter. The only person who mattered is standing here making an ass out of himself. Go home, Jackson, just go." Ephram stood and turned to leave. He didn't look back when Jack called to him, he didn't want the other boy to see his tears. And even as he asked his question he hated himself for caring. Was he masochistic for wanting to know? "Has there been anyone for you?"  
  
Jackson's caustic laugh was all that broke the silence as Ephram tried not to sob. "Don't be ridiculous. I couldn't touch anyone else without hating myself and long for them to be you. It wouldn't have been fair on any of us: them, or me, or you."  
  
Nodding Ephram still did not turn back to him. As he walked away he wondered if he was a bad person for being happy at Jack's words. 


	4. 4

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part:4  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
"Sorry I'm late." Ephram smiled weakly as he placed his bag on the floor next to the couch. "I didn't remember how long it took to walk back from school."  
  
"It's fine. You called." Madison tucked her hair behind her ear. "So your friend didn't come with you?"  
  
"I sent Jackson back to New York."  
  
"It's a twenty-seven hour drive! Didn't she just arrive?" she used the pronoun because she didn't want him to think that she and Delia had been talking.  
  
"I totally forgot. . . I go crazy when Jack's around. Damn it!"  
  
"Maybe she'll get out of town and crash in a motel."  
  
"Yeah. This week coming up is fall break at school so Jack must have taken today off and hoped to spend the weekend and the rest of the week here."  
  
She nodded, "Do you want dinner? I'll make you a plate?"  
  
"I'm really not hungry. Thank you for cooking extra and I'm sorry it didn't work out," he said as he folded into himself on the sofa.  
  
"It's fine," Madison thought before sitting down. "I know we've gotten off to a really bad start. And what I'm about to say is going to sound extremely patronizing because I can't think of better words to say it in. I hope you take them for their meaning and not their sound. But if you are offended you should feel free to send me away. She's not worth this."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Jackson, anyone who hurts you this badly isn't worth it."  
  
"Jackson is the only person who *is* worth it. Always. There will never be a time when I won't get upset after see Jack, today made me realize that. . . That wasn't patronizing."  
  
"No, but this is: this all seems like the end of the world right now but given time it won't burn anymore. And I don't mean that your feelings aren't real or that you're in anyway hysterical, I'm just saying that even this will heal."  
  
"Wow, that is patronizing."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Hey, I heard the disclaimer and I listened anyway. So when does the healing begin, Mr. Wizard?"  
  
"I don't know. Here's an exercise. Name five things you actually like about her. Because often one works the object of obsession into mythological proportions simply to comfort themselves. So be honest, what made her something to hold on to?"  
  
"Jackson was funny as all hell."  
  
"Don't be so superficial." She said with a gentle laugh.  
  
"You're getting steadily more annoying as this conversation goes on."  
  
"We can stop if you want." Madison worried that she had stepped over a boundary.  
  
"It's kind of nice to talk to someone about any of this."  
  
"You don't talk to your dad," Madison nodded to show she understood.  
  
"I can't." Ephram considered his next words carefully. He had been playing the pronoun game and hadn't once corrected Madison when she said "she". And he sat trying to figure out a way to explain without letting the cat out the bag. "Dad likes to be an ostrich with his head in the sand when it comes to my personal life."  
  
"What do you mean? He doesn't want to know?"  
  
"He chooses not to know." He saw from her face that Madison was still confused. "Last year they wanted dad to teach sex ed. He then accosted me in the kitchen to ask if I was a virgin. I told him that if he didn't know then he would never know. It wasn't mean spirited either. He was in the house the night I first slept with someone. And the only thing that would have made him not know was his willingness to not know. And that's how he is with everything."  
  
Madison smiled sadly, "I'm here whenever you want to talk. I like you, Ephram. Now back to the important issue. Five non-shallow things."  
  
"Jackson was my best friend when I didn't deserve any. I was an extremely dislikeable person. . . I wasn't a person: I was a walking cliché of a troubled teen. I was popular and all that mattered was being drunk and screwing around with cheerleaders. I didn't even like myself. I got A's in all my classes even though I was stoned all the time. I wasn't a person, just a shell. I had no real friends. I was the most popular person in school and was always surrounded by a group but none of them gave a damn about me. So one night I'm making a spectacular ass out of myself at this party and Jackson grabbed me and pulled me outside and asked why I did all the stupid things I did. And I told Jack that there was no reason but then there was no reason for anything I did and what else could I do with my life. And he kissed me. And he told me that there was a lot to do with my life if I got over being the great Ephram Brown. I was the flagship of the popular clique and it was so wrong. He saw that I could be something. *He* made me something. When I was with Jackson I was happy and I liked who I was. And you say that my liking his sense of humor is shallow, but it wasn't. I never really laughed until he made me. Nothing seemed funny until he was the one saying it. . . Delia swearing always rocked my boat. But he made things ok." He realized suddenly that he had stopped playing the pronoun game while so wrapped in his own thoughts and he looked up. Though he expected to see disgust or disappointment in her face Madison was still just smiling sadly. As he scrubbed at tears with the back of his hand he spoke again, "So does that count as two?"  
  
"I think you've done enough: you found a flaw in my great exercise as he *is* apparently good. Why did you break up?" she looked genuinely confused.  
  
"Well, ok, this goes no further than us? Delia loves him and I didn't exactly tell her what happened because I didn't see a reason to tell her when it would just make her sad. So don't tell her?"  
  
"Delia? From how she reacted when I told her that he had said hello I don't think she'd care."  
  
"What? She worshiped him."  
  
"She worshiped her happy brother and the person who made that happen."  
  
"But she practically mourned when we finally left New York!"  
  
"Again, she was mourning for her happy brother and not talking about the person she perceived as having brought about the brooding."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So tell me this top secret," she said with a gentle prod to his shoulder.  
  
"Mom died, I was miserable and he dumped me because he was afraid of making things worse."  
  
"Idiot."  
  
"Yeah, he just brushed me off. Like it was some hookup over a weekend and not a year and a half of my life."  
  
"God, Ephram."  
  
"He didn't mean to hurt me, he was trying to protect me he was just. . . an idiot. And then three months later we moved here. And I wrote. . . repeatedly, trying to just be his friend and not lose him completely. But he never wrote back. I guess it was weird and he didn't know what to say."  
  
"And what did he say tonight." She sat, baited breath, waiting for his answer, afraid he would cry.  
  
Softly Ephram laughed, "He came to grovel and beg. Apparently he's seen the error of his ways and pined just as much as me and doesn't want it to be so anymore. He wanted me to give him another chance."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And he's on his way back to New York because I'm a coward."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"I'm too much of a coward to put aside the past and not worry about the next time Mr. Fairweather lives up to his name. I don't know. . . burn a boy once, shame on you. Burn him twice, assume he's a masochist. He said that I was afraid and I started shouting that he was self-righteous. But he's right I'm a coward. If I were brave I would be with him right now instead of coming out to my sister's babysitter! And tonight he called me the great Ephram Brown which was always a joke between us when we were out in public he would say it about the stupid popular persona, people thought he was stalking me. But tonight when he said it he meant it. I don't know what I'm doing!"  
  
"It's safer to live in a box. It's also a waste of life."  
  
"So what should I do?"  
  
"That's up to you. Meanwhile I have to go pick-up Delia who's at Nina's with Sam. Are you ok?"  
  
"I'm fine." He shrugged, "I need to practice anyway." He nodded to the piano.  
  
She ruffled his hair as she stood and he just rolled his eyes. And as he stood to sit at the piano the phone started to ring, "Do I get any breaks tonight?" 


	5. 5

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part:5  
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring.  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
"Hello?" he asked slowly as he lifted the receiver.  
  
"Hey, how are you?" asked Bright's voice.  
  
"I'm fine," Ephram's voice was cautious at the worried note in Bright's voice.  
  
"Well I just thought you looked upset with that Jackson guy."  
  
"Jackson is. . . complicated." He spoke slowly.  
  
"I get it, Ephram."  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
"So your ex turns up from the city and you go into hardcore brood mode."  
  
"He kind of makes me go crazy. Sorry if I seemed off earlier. I'll be normal by Monday."  
  
"No that's cool. I just wanted to see if you were ok. Do you want to do something tonight?"  
  
"I'm fine but I'd rather brood, sorry, I think I'm just gonna play the piano and sit around pitying myself." He nodded as if agreeing with himself, "I sent him home." The doorbell started to go and Ephram rolled his eyes again. "Someone's at the door." He turned and looked through the window. "*Jackson's* at the door great. . . I'll talk to you later. Goodnight." He hung up without thinking and went to open the door. "Hey," he nodded. "It's cold out."  
  
"Yes, it is." Jackson stood hugging himself. "So this is *not* a line: it just sounds like one. When I got my driver's license two weeks ago I inherited the duct tape chariot." The car that had belonged to his older brother had been christened because the headlights were held in with duct tape. "As I was leaving town my radiator fell out onto the road. It's gonna take two days to get fixed and there is no bus, and the train station is a free clinic."  
  
"My dad runs it, that's his practice."  
  
"Oh, well I just wanted to let you know I'm still here. I just didn't want you to see me on the street and accuse me of stalking you. I will get out of "your town" as soon as possible." He smiled apologetically.  
  
"Where are you going to stay?" Ephram asked softly. He knew that Jackson was telling the truth about his car, he knew Jackson too well for the boy to lie.  
  
"There's an inn in town."  
  
"No."  
  
"No I *can't* stay there?" asked Jackson looking worried.  
  
"Come in." said Ephram stepping back from the door.  
  
He hesitated. "I don't want. . ."  
  
"It's cold and you're letting the air in. You might not be in my good graces right now but you're always welcome wherever I am if you need it."  
  
"Thank you." Jackson stepped inside and smiled nervously. "Now what?"  
  
"Now you get out of the way." Delia stood behind him with a huge plate of cookies. "I'm about to drop these."  
  
Laughing, he stepped out of the way. "Hey, Kidtastic!"  
  
"Hello," Delia's voice was cold as she passed him on her way to the kitchen.  
  
"I thought you said she missed me."  
  
"I thought she did." Ephram smiled apologetically. As the phone in his hand rang. "Hello."  
  
"Eff, hi, It's Chloe. I just thought I should give you the heads up."  
  
"He's already here, Clo."  
  
"Oh, I thought I would be in time to warn you."  
  
"No, you aren't. What are you doing tonight?"  
  
"Going to the hookah bar."  
  
"Fun. Well I'm going to go."  
  
"He's there, isn't he? In your house?" she said with sudden shock.  
  
"Night, Chloe!" he said and hung up.  
  
"Phoned to warn you?"  
  
"I love that girl," Ephram said with a smile, "she's everyone's mom."  
  
"You still talk to her?"  
  
"About once a week." This conversation was forced and Ephram smiled weakly as Madison came in the door behind him. "That was a lot of cookies."  
  
"Sam and she got carried away. That was only about a third of them." She smiled at him in a forced way and then turned to the lanky red head, "Hi, I'm Madison."  
  
"I'm Jackson, a friend of Ephram's."  
  
"It's nice to meet you. Delia," she called, "I want you to take a shower! You're covered in flower." She started to walk upstairs to adjust the heat for the little girl when she turned back, "If you guys are hungry there's food in the fridge." She turned and walked up the stairs with Delia close behind her.  
  
"She's nice."  
  
"Where's your stuff?" asked Ephram noting Jackson's lack of a bag.  
  
"Oh fuck! I guess I left it all at the mechanics."  
  
"Let's go."  
  
"You'll come with me?"  
  
"You're a foreigner in mountain country. You need a guide." He smirked and started humming dueling banjos.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was a really cold, clear night and they walked in an uncomfortable silence looking up at the sky. Ephram kicked a stone and avoided eye contact while Jackson stared at him. The New Yorker tried to think of something to say. All he felt was confused. Why was Ephram letting him stay? Why was it always hard for them? Why was it that after all this time he still felt safest with Ephram? A boy who was a year younger and a lot smaller than he himself was? And why did he still so badly long to be in that boy's arms? Why was this slight and contrary being in the spotlight of his every waking thought?  
  
And then his mouth was moving and he wasn't really thinking about what was coming out. He just focused on Ephram turning to him to watch him talk. "I hate this."  
  
"Hate what?" asked Ephram in a politely interested voice.  
  
"This," Jack motioned between them. "I hate being awkward with you. I hate it. I love you and since when did I ever have a problem talking?" Ephram smiled the older boy did tend to ramble. "There was a time when we didn't need to talk. And when we could. . ." his words faltered.  
  
"When we could finish each other's sentences. You don't need to tell me I was there."  
  
"God, you must be freezing!" said Jack as he caught sight of Ephram's blue lips and started to shrug out of his jacket.  
  
"I fine." Said Ephram pushing away Jack's hands.  
  
"You're so thin. You lost weight."  
  
"Sorry, *Mom*."  
  
"Don't be flip."  
  
Rolling his eyes Ephram tried to think of something to say to keep the conversation going, "So have you heard from Colleges yet? A few seniors at school got letters back."  
  
"The University of Denver accepted me. I'm waiting on all the others." He waited for the question he knew would come.  
  
"Why did you apply there?"  
  
"It's about two hours from this cute little mountain town a friend of mine lives in and I was hoping to spend my weekends with him."  
  
"How long have you been planning this trip?"  
  
"Not long, eighteen months. And me being me I planned on this working. I wouldn't be me if I didn't expect things to work. I just instantly count my chickens."  
  
"And it would have worked out if I weren't such a chicken myself."  
  
"You aren't, Eff, I was upset when I said it. You're the strongest person I know."  
  
"You didn't mean it, I do. I'm afraid you might not know me that well any more. I'm not the great Ephram Brown, I'm not that cocky and sure of myself. And I'm not whoever I was with you, I'm not happy or calm or trusting. . . I'm just broken, and I can't see a way to pull myself back together. I moved to this town that didn't want me and I was the freak who read Japanese comics and wore black, so I shut myself off and I can't find the switch to get the lights back. And it all was so fucking bad and everyone who gave a damn about me was gone. The only thing that stopped me from topping myself was Delia, I couldn't leave her with Dad. So she saved me. And then Dad says we have to stay here as mom wanted us to move here. So I did it, and I'm really trying. But what for? There is no point to my continued subsistence. What doesn't kill only prolongs the inevitable. Sorry you had to come all the way up here to find out. I love you so much, I just don't know. . . I need time, ok?"  
  
"I love you and I'm here for you. And I know that it will be ok, because it always is." Jackson smiled, "It'll all be ok," he repeated the phrase in a surer tone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Thank you to all the people who've sent me e-mail! I always like to hear from readers!! 


	6. 6

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part: 6  
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring.  
  
Apologies. All we hear in the east about the Midwest is about the close- mindedness of the people who live there, I'm sure that this is an unfair stereotype that has been promoted through bigotry and the actions of a minority such as in the awful case of Mathew Sheppard. Statements made within this story are not meant to offend any Midwesterners who read it. For two teenagers who grew up in NYC these are real fears that have been instilled in them from media and gossip. That is not to say that that gay people don't get beaten up in NYC, they do. But then it's the devil you know. For instance I take the subway home at 12:30 at night without fear when I could be in danger but then I go down to the Smoky Mountains and I lock my car doors because I've seen Deliverance too many times. Is that fair? No. Is it logical? Not really. But it's true none the less. Again I hope that this doesn't offend anyone.  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
"You're cold," said Jackson after a moment's pause.  
  
"I'm sorry, I thought I was giving you reason to hope." Ephram sighed heavily trying to figure out things in his head. "It's so easy here. I'm the hated outcast, my father killed the town's favorite son, and I don't have to deal with anyone. And I guess all of my popular people skills died, because this is really far too hard. I'm not trying to be cold."  
  
"I meant physically cold." He pulled off his jacket, "I wish you would embrace outerwear." Ephram didn't move to take the jacket. "The guys will kill me if you freeze to death while I'm here. Humor me, I'm wearing a sweater. You're wearing a tee-shirt. Hey that's one of mine! I was looking for that."  
  
"You got my heart while I got the clothes you weren't cool enough to pull off."  
  
"Anyone can pull off an Op Ivy shirt," said Jackson as they arrived at the mechanics. There was a small parking lot outside and there in all her glory was the duct tape chariot. "Isn't she beautiful?"  
  
"Would you like me to lie?" asked Ephram with a smirk.  
  
"She gets me away from my parents and four siblings. She got me to you."  
  
"Well when you put it like that. . ."  
  
"Ephram?" asked a voice and Ephram turned to see Bright standing with a bunch of his jock friends. "I thought you said you were staying home." He looked hurt as though someone had kicked his puppy.  
  
"I was planning on being sad at my piano until four am like any normal person would be on a Friday night. But Jackson's car broke down so he's staying here and we had to come get his stuff." He nodded to Jack who was leaning into the backseat of the car searching through his stuff. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Movies, want to come? Things will be blowing up." Bright smirked.  
  
"No but thanks, have fun." Bright smiled at him with fake brevity and walked away without another word.  
  
Jackson slammed the car door that creaked badly. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I don't like him." He said with gentle anger. His eyes glinted and something inside of Ephram melted. The resolve to not fall into old patterns and to be cautious went right out his mind.  
  
"Who, Bright? *Nothing* will happen between Bright and me. He wasn't hitting on me," Jackson rolled his eyes, "to hit on me he would have to make some sort of an overture and in this town he's never going to come out let alone try to get a boyfriend. This is small town Colorado, no matter how hard people try to be accepting this is still middle America and there is always a very high chance of things going very badly. I mean there was that whole Mathew Sheppard thing, so I guess it is a worry. I don't think I would like it to be public knowledge that I'm "that way,": not here. . . Are you jealous?" he asked raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Would it be points for or against me if I said yes?" he asked in a dejected tone. "I trust you implicitly. I just don't like. . ."  
  
"It's kind of nice. Kinda missed it. You're allowed to not like someone hitting on your boyfriend."  
  
"Boyfriend?" asked Jack quickly, "I thought you needed time."  
  
"I did too." His tone was bemused. "But here's the thing. It hurts when we're not together. So what's the point of *not* being together to save us from hurting. That's one of my most illogical reasonings yet."  
  
"Is that a word? Reasonings?"  
  
"It's a noun. I made it plural."  
  
"But can you *make it* a plural noun? Is that allowed?" he asked raising an eyebrow as he pulled on a jean jacket.  
  
"I would assume so." And then he smiled, "See how easy it is when we're not actually thinking about talking?" He slid an arm around Jack's waist. "I'm cold."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I'm sorry but you're wrong! Everything about you is wrong." said Jackson as they walked into the house. Delia and Madison were watching TV and stopped to stare at the fighting pair.  
  
Rolling his eyes Ephram turned to Delia, "Who would win in a fistfight Gandhi or Mr. Rogers?"  
  
"Gandhi," she said simply.  
  
"Yes! Victory!" said Jack throwing his arms up.  
  
"Delia, do you even know who Gandhi is?" asked an exasperated Ephram.  
  
"No but: Mr. Rogers is a masochist. He wouldn't fight back."  
  
"You mean pacifist and where did you learn that world?" asked Ephram with a smirk.  
  
"CNN."  
  
"Actually that would lend credence to the fact that Gandhi would win. Mr. Rogers would enjoy it too much to fight back." Jack spoke introspectively.  
  
"Gandhi was a pacifist too."  
  
"So why would they fight?" she asked looking back towards her movie for a moment. She saw Madison watching the whole scene with confusion in her eyes.  
  
"Just say you put them in a jar and shook it." Jackson said it with integrated hand motions.  
  
"They would get angry at you and decide to both consciously object to your treatment of them." She smiled a smug smirk.  
  
"What have you been watching on CNN?" Jackson asked disgustedly. "Look all I'm saying is that a man with that many shoes is compensating for something. Gandhi was oppressed by the white man he must have had pent up rage somewhere deep down."  
  
Delia turned back to the TV knowing that the rest of the conversation would bore her as her brother and Jack continued to try and out do each other. They were both such show offs. "You guys are dorks. It always ends up like this."  
  
"They do this a lot?" asked Madison with a small smile.  
  
"Anytime they walk in the cold." Delia rolled her eyes.  
  
"Why?" asked Madison still confused  
  
"You don't focus on the cold. . ." said Ephram while thinking of his rebuttal then he turned back to Jack with a devious smile, "Mr. Rogers spent all his time with puppets. Thus he felt isolated and marginalized from other people. This feeling of segregation would lead to anger. Why was he kept alone for so long? That question is all that's on his mind and this anger and sense of abandonment would lead to a real urge for recompense."  
  
"Oh that's good," said an awed Jackson. "I think you won. I can't compete with puppets and partial lunacy."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"So what's the prize?" asked Madison who was now smiling unrepentantly.  
  
"Generally the loser buys ice-cream for the winner." Said Ephram.  
  
"But if you only play it while walking in the cold-"  
  
"Yes, we know it's flawed," interrupted Jackson. "Where's your room? I want to put this stuff down."  
  
"Second on the left at the top of the landing." Ephram walked towards the kitchen. "You hungry?"  
  
"I can always eat." Jackson called back.  
  
Ephram walked into the kitchen and was leaning in the fridge when he heard a throat clear behind him. "Yeah?" he asked as he saw Madison leaning against the counter with her arms crossed and a smile on her face. 


	7. 7

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part:7

Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring.

Other notes in prior parts.

* * *

"Ya notice how Delia wasn't rude to him?" asked Madison still smiling.

"You yelled at her while we were out?" Ephram hazarded.

"No, you walked in smiling. _Which_" she pointed a finger as if making a deep point, "I've never seen before."

"Now I have to skulk around just to spite you."

"So?" she nudged for an answer.

"You get no details."

"But there are details to be gotten?"

"Delia could choke if you don't watch her."

"She's not three, Ephram." She said sitting up on the counter.

"Can I put this in the microwave or does it need to go in the oven?" he asked holding up a container of chicken in a cream and thyme sauce.

"Put it in a saucer and put it over medium heat. And don't try to change the subject."

"I hate that girls can multitask. . . how much did you cook?" he asked going through all the containers in the fridge.

"Your dad's getting back late; he'll be hungry. And you two are growing boys."

"It's sweet that you care."

"Dish it!"

"I'm smiling. Isn't that enough of a "dishing" for you?"

"Fine. Tell me all about your problems but the minute you aren't miserable I don't get the time of day." Sarcasm leaked from her words.

"Hey," said Jackson as he walked into the room.

Madison looked up and smiled, "I should go check that Delia hasn't choked to death in my prolonged absence." She left and shot a look over Jackson's shoulder at Ephram.

"So," said Jackson sitting in Madison's spot on the counter. "I couldn't help but overhear, as I was eavesdropping, it seems you don't just have one friend."

"Madison's nice: she can cook." Ephram stirred the potatoes Madison had made in a frying pan. Jackson wrapped his arms around Ephram's waist and rested his chin on the other boy's shoulder.

"Also couldn't help but hear that you never smile."

"Was I ever big on smiling?"

"No, but I still don't like it."

"Well I'm smiling now. Isn't that enough?" he asked stroking the side of Jackson's face.

"Yeah. . ."

"Don't start brooding on me!"

"Sorry." He kissed Ephram's neck in apology.

"You're awfully cuddly." Ephram leaned into a caress even as he said it.

"Well just a few hours ago I was told I would be bleeding if I touched you."

"Might still happen," said Ephram softly. He felt Jackson swallow hard against his shoulder. "You just have to play your cards right."

"Is that a promise?" Jack whispered.

"This is not a conversation for the kitchen." Ephram stifled a moan at the hot breath on his cold ear. "You never know who's gonna walk in."

"Good point," he said nodding emphatically as though it were a class conversation as apposed to dirty talk with sadomasochistic overtones. Ephram was dishing out things when Jackson finally asked the question he had been fearing all night, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah, why not?" asked Ephram with a laugh. He was turned so quickly that while his tee-shirt went through the flame on the stove it didn't catch light. Like running a finger though a candle's flame fast, you don't even feel it. "I missed you so badly." He said before he pulled the taller boy down to him.

"I'm home!" called Andy as he walked in the front door.

"I asked for that, didn't I?" asked Ephram as they broke apart and he licked his lips.

"A little bit, yeah," He rested his chin on Ephram's forehead, ". . . you smell really well."

"Do you mean good?" he couldn't help but smirk.

"Sure."

"I didn't realize I still had the power to turn your mind to mush in under twenty seconds."

"Yeah-s."

"Let's eat and then we should go face the music. Are you ok?"

"I wouldn't want you to panic, Phram." Ephram beamed at the pet name. "But I think I may have had an aneurysm or a stroke."

"Oh," Ephram didn't know how to reply to that and instead popped a potato into Jackson's mouth. He said, "Don't be offended, but Dad may not remember you."

"I lived at your house since we were ten."

"Yes you did, but Dad didn't."

* * *

Madison watched the scene unfold. Dr. Brown _didn't_ remember the boy at all. As she watched she finally understood what Ephram had said about his father being an ostrich. He was completely oblivious to the world around him and it was purely by choice. Embarrassment swamped Ephram's face while Jackson tried desperately to not look upset and tried to make a joke out of it. The joke fell on its face. He was as socially poised as a goat at a diner party. The calm and assured young man who had walked in the door had vanished and in his place was a child trying desperately to soothe his boyfriend and curry favor with Dr. Brown at the same time. He wanted Andy to like him because if Andy liked him then Ephram would be more comfortable. Madison felt sad watching him. To her it was like reading an open book while everyone else was oblivious. Then Andy had asked, "Hey didn't you two have a falling out?" She couldn't stand it but for once she wasn't going to put her two cents in.

"Delia, it's bedtime. Ephram, you said you were going to practice tonight so why don't you do that now while Delia is getting ready for bed and reading. That way you won't disturb her. Dr. Brown, there is food in the kitchen. Jackson, I'll get sheets for the pullout bed in Ephram's room."

"Oh you're staying? How nice," said Andy.

"Yes, if that's alright with you?" asked Jackson nervously.

"No of course it's fine." Andy walked away looking slightly confused.

"Thank you." Ephram turned to Madison, "That was just. . . bad."


	8. 8

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 8

Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring.

Disclaimer: I don't own many things including but not limited to: Everwood, a Fender, Operation Ivy, or Boy Meets Boy a web comic. There are only very vague references to the comic that you won't notice unless you've read it. . . mainly it's all about guitar raping.

Other notes in prior parts.

* * *

Sitting down at the piano Ephram tried to think of something to play. The song he had been planning on practicing wasn't any fun and he wasn't in the right mood to sulk anymore. He thought for a moment and then started playing an Operation Ivy song that they had both obsessed over.

"The position being taken is not to be mistaken. For attempted education or righteous accusation. Only a description just an observation of the pitiful. Condition of our degeneration." Jackson sang, "Good song. I always did like "Room Without a Window," best."

"I know you did." Jackson sat down next to him and cracked his fingers. Smiling Ephram asked, "Are you going to play me a song?" Without a word Jackson started to play chopsticks. They both laughed softly and then Jackson started to play a Bach tune. "Nice."

"Recently I've been focusing on the bass, but I left the Fender at home. I got a 1978 Precision for Christmas."

"And you didn't bring it!" Ephram hit his arm lightly.

"I'll bring it next time. I was afraid you would take advantage of it."

"I raped _one_ guitar! And have I ever lived it down? No." They both smiled at the joke, Ephram should have never been left with the instrument. He had tried to play it (pitifully) and had been told he was "raping" the art form. The group had henceforth referred to him as the guitar rapist.

* * *

Upon tucking Delia into bed Madison was ready to leave. Coming down the stairs she saw Jackson laying with his head on Ephram's chest while they watched TV. The show they were watching was about medical breakthroughs. "Do you find it odd," he said slowly, "that Prozac and prosaic are so similar?"

"Yeah, but prolific kinda fits in too." Ephram arched his back to stretch and asked, "Aren't you tired? There's a time difference of two hours between here and New York. Plus you drove so far."

"I'm comfy right here."

Madison smiled and then said, "Ok, I'm going." They turned and smiled at her. "Have a good night. Oh, Ephram, a quick word on the porch?"

Grimacing he slid out from behind Jackson. "Stay. No eavesdropping."

"Would you like to throw in, 'bad dog,' for good measures?" asked Jack with a smirk.

Closing the door behind her, Madison began to speak, "Ok I'm not begging for details, parse. I just want to know what happened between hating life and cuddling on the couch."

Ephram rolled his eyes and sighed, "I got hit on a little bit while we were out and he went into jealous, over protective mode."

"And?" she asked with a sneer of confusion as if to say, "that's not _it_ right?"

"And that's all. I missed unfounded jealousy. I missed everything and we're gonna be ok. I know we will be."

"Ok," she smiled and then frowned, "and why are you watching the Discovery Channel?"

"Making uncharitable comments about people with obscure diseases," he shrugged and nodded, "you know me and vitriolic statements."

"It's nice that some things don't change."

* * *

As Jackson made up the trundle bed Ephram laughed. "Is that really necessary?"

"You kick." He shrugged. "Besides, I don't want anything to happen between us until you're really sure that this is what you want. I wouldn't want. . . well ya know." He shrugged again and ran a hand through his loose curls. Falling into bed he shrugged off his shirt and jeans. "I am so fucking tired."

"I love you." Ephram smiled at the boy who was already nearly asleep. Leaning over he kissed Jack gently, "You've come an awfully long way today. And come to think of it, so have I."


	9. 9

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 9

Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring. Thank you to everyone who has already sent me lovely note! And to the people who sent me corrections!

Other notes in prior parts.

Again "bif" means boyfriend.

* * *

Delia had a hard day at school, Ephram was sulking, and so Julia had brought her children to Serendipity, home of amazing brie burgers and better ice cream sundaes. Delia was blathering about who's nose she wanted to break while Julia listened patiently. Staring down at his ice cream Ephram made a decision and looked up slowly. "Mom," he said interrupting his little sister, "I'm gay."

Turning away from Delia she smiled at him kindly, "I know, honey."

"Oh." He hadn't been prepared for her to say that.

"What's gay?" asked Delia loudly.

"It just means that Jackson and Ephram are close friends," Julia said to her young daughter.

"I like Jackson," Delia stated as though it was an earth shattering statement, she always spoke thusly, as if everyone hung on her every word.

"So do I," said Julia looking into Ephram's face. "You don't like walnuts do you, honey?"

"No they're too waxy." He was nearly laughing with relief.

Julia leaned over the table and scrapped the offending nuts off the top of his sundae and popped the spoon into her mouth. "We should finish up, guys. You both still have homework to do."

Backstage Ephram was looking out at an audience. He was dressed in a new tux and feeling ill. Arms slipped around his waist. "Are you going to be sick?" asked Jackson.

"I had no idea how many people would be here. I think I might vom."

"If you do vom please do it away from my shoes."

"How are you so fucking calm?"

"It's not my first time. Calm down, if you fuck up you fuck up. There are no scouts from any schools here, and you're a newbie. It's almost expected for you to have one or two mishaps."

"Are you sure you aren't just calm because you've won two years in a row and you don't even like the piano?"

"Well there is that." He shrugged apologetically, "No one you give a damn about is out there."

"You're right. My mom isn't even here."

"I'm sure she'll be here. She's as excited as you are about today." He kissed Ephram's forehead. "I'm sorry but I have to go, Phram. I've lost my sheet music."

"You're on in ten fucking minutes!"

"Are you trying to make me as sick as you?" he said with a small smile.

"Well I do want to win."

"There's my boy." He beamed at the pale boy, "You'll be fine!" He walked away and then turned and walked backwards as he called, "Love ya!"

He was standing at the side of the street still wearing his new tuxedo, completely dry he stood in the middle of the rainstorm. Tapping his foot he muttered, "I can't fucking believe she isn't here." Dispassionately he watched as his mother's car careened off the road, "I can't fucking believe she would let me down."

Stepping onto the stage he was soaked to the skin, his tux was plastered to his flesh. He played the song angrily and better than he had ever done so in practice. Jackson was watching him in the eaves. "That's my bif. Isn't he amazing? He has no fucking clue about his own potential. . . You haven't seen my sheet music have you?"

* * *

Jackson had missed watching the boy sleep. Ephram had never slept well and always thrashed in his sleep. It was really quite amusing and endearing. A pillow was hugged tightly to the young boy's chest. "I'm sorry. I'm a complete cunt. Sorry." Ephram muttered and then Jackson touched his shoulder.

"Phram, you're dreaming, baby." He whispered knowing from experience that Ephram would wake up. He sat bolt upright; his eyes were focused directly ahead of him. "Are you ok?"

He studied Jackson for a moment as if evaluating the situation. His eyes were haunted. There was surprise and confusion all over his face. He looked at Jackson as though shocked to find him in his bed and as if he was trying to place where he knew the redhead from. "I'm fine." His tone was bemused and dead. "I just dreamt. . . I haven't dreamt in a very long time." He looked at his hands and then back at the other boy he saw the look on Jack's face and spoke with some awareness for the first time, "This isn't your fault."


	10. 10

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part: 10  
  
Thanks to Jenn, for the beta!  
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring. Thank you to everyone who has already sent me lovely note! And to the people who sent me corrections!  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
Again "bif" means boyfriend.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"No," he said sarcastically, "I turn up and you start having nightmares again."  
  
"Shut up," said Ephram harshly. "Don't fucking say that. This *isn't* your fault."  
  
"Can I get you some juice or something to get your blood sugar back up?" he asked looking at his very pale bif.  
  
"No," Ephram said focusing on the wall and then turned to him looking scared. "Actually there is something."  
  
"Yeah?" he felt his stomach flip. Ephram was gonna ask him to leave. He knew that this was all too good to truly last.  
  
"Get over your whole "no sleeping together," policy and come here." Ephram pulled the covers back and Jackson practically leapt on him. "Thank Christ."  
  
Jackson laughed gently. "Am I that amazing?"  
  
"Yes. . . but that's not my point. This is like. . . coming home?" he said questioningly, "Is that too gay?" There was no reply. "I guess that's a stupid question."  
  
"No, I was just basking. . . It's not "gay" at all. . ." He looked into Ephram's face for a long minute before asking, "Is it worse if I say I missed your nightmares?"  
  
"If every nightmare ended like this, I would wake up screaming every night." Ephram carded his fingers through Jackson's hair as the boy lay his head on Ephram's chest. He twined a floppy curl around his finger and smiled at the restless redhead's fingers that never stopped drawing patterns and writing words all over his shoulders and chest.  
  
"Tell me about it?" asked Jackson gently in a pleading way.  
  
"I'd really rather not." He watched Jack nod sadly, rubbing his head against Ephram's torso. "For Chrissakes, it's audible: I can hear you brooding. This isn't your fault. And if you don't stop blaming yourself I'll kick you all night."  
  
"You will anyway." Jack smiled.  
  
"But now I can say it's punishment instead of having to admit that I have the nocturnal habits of a four year old."  
  
"I missed having bruises on my shins."  
  
"It was the night my mom died," Ephram spoke seemingly out of nowhere. He kept his eyes on the ceiling and wouldn't meet Jack's gaze. Jack's eyes had a way that made him spill his soul out, he could get through a simple explanation but if he looked into those fathomless orbs he would lose himself entirely.  
  
"You won the recital that night."  
  
"I did."  
  
"You always play so well when you're angry." When Ephram said nothing Jackson realized where it was headed. "It wasn't your fault."  
  
"I was just so fucking angry. And if I wasn't such a petulant moody bitch she wouldn't have been in such a hurry to get there. If I was a normal person I wouldn't have been upset she wasn't there, she wouldn't have sped because it would have been ok for her to miss it. I'm the reason she's dead, Jack. It's my fault."  
  
"No it's not. She wanted to be there, she needed to hear you play. It made her happy. You're amazing to watch. People would come from all over to see you. You. . . you're captivating. She wanted to be there just as much as you wanted her there."  
  
Ephram pulled out the big guns expecting to repulse Jackson, "You're holding a killer."  
  
Slowly Jackson sat up and looked at the boy, "I don't know where I find the nerve to be upset by that." He got up and paced. The eyes bore into his back as he pulled his hair back hard. "I fucked up severely, I know that. But the fact that you expected for what you just said to make me run still hurts. It's probably a valid idea. In the past I hurt you so fucking badly. And now you're trying to drive me away from you because you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, or you're expecting me to hurt you again, or something. . . but it hurts." He turned back suddenly and said, "You made her fucking happy! And I know that you know that. I know that you stopped playing for a long time because of that. You didn't fucking kill her. And I won't let you think that, which is why you just tried to push me away right? Because I won't let you wallow? You ask me to hold you and then you try to get me to run. Make up your fucking mind." He turned to look out the window his eyes shone coldly as he gazed unseeingly at the outside world, "You aren't a fucking killer. You were a scared boy. I love you. It wasn't your fault. You needed someone to blame and it was easiest to hate yourself. I wish you hated me."  
  
"Don't say that," Ephram interrupted, "I just. . . I don't know what I'm doing." He leaned over the bedside table to grab his pack of cigarettes, but his fingers shook too badly to light one. Turning back Jackson took the lighter for him and lit the fag. The quick flash of light made Ephram's tears shine in the dark. Jackson reached out to wipe them away. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't say that." Jackson sounded suddenly exhausted after his tirade. "You had a dream and I ripped you a new one. You don't need to apologize for anything."  
  
"But you're right, I tried to push you away." He broke their eye contact and turned his head away, ashamed of himself. "I'm. . . I don't know what I'm doing," he repeated.  
  
"Ok." Jackson sighed as he thought about his next words, he hated himself even before they were out of his mouth. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself as the cool air froze his bare skin. "This isn't an ultimatum, it's a choice. Ok? And I don't want to make things hard on you. It's just. . . I love you. And I will give you all the time in the world, I can wait. But if I get to hold you tonight I don't know if I'll be able to let you go in the morning. . . does that make any sense?" He raised his eyebrows in a lost but hopeful manner and took the cigarette without thinking when Ephram handed it to him.  
  
"Come back to bed." He said simply.  
  
"Are you sure?" Jack was angry at the quake in his voice. He wasn't meant to be getting emotional, he was meant to be calm while Ephram freaked out. "Just one question?" Ephram nodded as he took a pull on their shared fag. "Is this want or need?"  
  
Thinking for a moment the pale boy said, "I know that if I say need you'll interpret this to be some "any port in a storm" situation. And it certainly isn't that. I need you because I love and want you and you're. . . you're my Jackson. I want you. I want only you." Ephram smiled sadly, "Would you get back here?" He grabbed the tan wrist in front of him and pulled Jackson back under the covers. "Now your feet are cold," he said with a smile gently admonishing his boyfriend, "see what happens when you pace all pensively? Yes, you look hard core and pacing helps you think but now you have cold feet."  
  
Jackson smiled and hovered over him his floppy hair fell into Ephram's eyes, "I've been meaning to get in cut." Looking into Jack's eyes Ephram swallowed hard. "But then again you did always like my hair long."  
  
"Can I have you?" asked Ephram in a completely level voice as he laced his fingers back into Jackson's hair.  
  
"You always have me."  
  
"That's not what I meant." Ephram laughed.  
  
Jackson gave him a feral look, "I know damn well what you meant. You *always* have me." 


	11. 11

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part: 11  
  
Thanks Jenn, for the beta  
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring. Thank you to everyone who has already sent me lovely note! And to the people who sent me corrections!  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Upon waking he found fingers tangled in his hair and a warm face pressed into his shoulder. Hot, moist breath was being pushed across his bare skin and he felt himself melt. Shaking his head clear of the fog he said, "Time to get up." He tried to roll the redhead off of him but Jackson dug his fingers into Ephram's scalp and held him tighter.  
  
"No," came a sleepy reply.  
  
"No?" asked Ephram with a laugh.  
  
"I'm tired, your warm, therefore you stay."  
  
"I have to piss."  
  
"I don't care. *I* have to cuddle."  
  
"I love it when you're still asleep, great things come out of your mouth."  
  
"Fuck off, Phram. I need my sleep and I need you here to acquire that sleep."  
  
"That's hardly my fault."  
  
"You're right, *I* was pounding *myself* into the mattress at five this morning, and then *I* was kicking *myself* all through the night." Jackson drew light patterns on Ephram's shoulders as he spoke yet his eyes remained closed and he was most defiantly asleep.  
  
"Sorry, baby." Said Ephram with a sheepish smile.  
  
"Missed that."  
  
"Missed what?"  
  
"Being baby."  
  
"I still have to piss."  
  
"Fine, but I want you back here." Said Jackson rolling over into the bed and away from Ephram. Curling in on himself he looked so innocent and pure, like a child in his fetal position. "Hurry up." Ephram smiled and kissed his forehead and pulled on flannel pants wordlessly.  
  
Sliding out into the hallway he bumped into a fully dressed Delia who simply smirked at him, "I liked it a lot better when you were all cute and innocent," he said in a dark and petulant tone.  
  
"Sleep well?" she asked and then walked away without waiting for the reply.  
  
Rolling his eyes he continued on to the bathroom. After doing numerous things including putting in his contacts and brushing his teeth he was ready to face the day. But upon entering his room the sight of Jackson sprawled out he felt his resolve melt, "Ten minutes." He slid back into bed. Like a heat guided missile Jackson wrapped around him instantly. "It's two o'clock. Dad's at the office doing his weekend hours and Delia is downstairs with Madison playing a board game. And I want to get up in a bit."  
  
"Kay, in a bit." He quickly fell back into his deep sleep.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye Ephram saw Jackson's jacket on the floor next to his bed. He was bored: Jackson was asleep. Ever so slowly he leaned out of bed just barely nudging Jack off of him and grabbed the coat. He wasn't quite sure why he was so careful in his movements, he knew for a fact that Jackson could sleep through anything. The pockets jangled with the sound of all the things carried there in. It had always been fun to see what *was* living in the coat at any given time. Generally speaking there was a rotation of objects and new things were contently being added while the old simply disappeared.  
  
Jackson had never had a drawer. Everyone has that drawer or shoebox. Their passport, and a picture of themselves with a group of people, a plastic jewel they got from a gumball machine: all the things that they feel are important in some way are locked in one drawer. But even as a child Jackson had been secretive and thought his parents would go through a drawer if he had one. And then when he was 15 they found out he was gay and kicked him out of the house for a while. He had been thrilled that there was nothing that he valued stashed anywhere in the house. He had stayed with friends and his aunt for about a year before his parents had asked him to move back in when he had turned sixteen. In that year their relationship had been tepid at best. Nothing was said was ever said on the subject either negative or positive. After realizing how badly they had screwed up they tried to fix things, but they still wouldn't accept the one thing that actually mattered. Trust was something that Jackson valued and he no longer trusted them. They had tried at Christmas to buy his affections back with a Fender; he had been touched by their superficial thoughtfulness. However the things in his pockets remained there and never saw the light of day inside his parent's apartment.  
  
When someone was taken into his confidence he trusted then implicitly. And when this happened they had open access to his pockets. Some people think the eyes are the entrance to the soul, but it's not true. That drawer, box, or pocket is how you tell who a person is. And anyway, most people couldn't look at Jack's eyes for too long. But Ephram loved his eyes, just as he loved rifling through his boyfriend's stuff.  
  
A Polaroid picture made him laugh. It was blurred as if the photographer had been moving while taking it. Olivia, Jax, Danni, Chloe, Andy, and Jack sitting on a couch laughing, toasting the photographer. It wasn't a brand-new photo as Danni still had her blue hair. Underneath Jay (who had obviously taken the picture) had written, "I apologize, but when drunk I cannot be expected to stand still for that long." The picture made him miss them all over again. There was a piece of sea glass, four beer bottle caps, an acorn, three fortune cookie fortunes, two lighters, a piece of string, a razorblade choker necklace, and a few ticket stubs to concerts and movies. The last thing he found made him gasp.  
  
The noise and sudden intake of air made Jackson wake up. He could sleep on a busy airport runway but the minute he thought Ephram needed something he was awake. "You ok?" He asked and then he groggily looked up and saw what Ephram was looking at. His eyes widen at the sight of the tube. Ephram had trained him to think of it as "slippy stuff". Ephram had informed him that if he had even thought of calling it the "forbidden L word", lubricant, he would be dropped faster than a hot stone. "That's not what it looks like, well, it is what it looks like. But it's not what you think. I mean, I don't even know why I have it but something was nagging me that it was important and I haven't been able to throw it out. It's not like I used-"  
  
"I know," he smiled at the ranting boy.  
  
"You know? You trust me?" he asked sounding somewhat amazed.  
  
"Yes and yes. I know you haven't used it," he turned the half empty, beaten up, metal tube over in his hand, "Because it's in the same condition it was when you stole it from me nearly two years ago." Ephram hand the tube to the bewildered boy and pointed out two sets of initials. "I was bored, you were asleep, I found a pin. So you've had this in your pocket for two years? That's either touching or off-putting."  
  
"Let's go with option one." He leaned up and kissed the pale boy, "You brushed your teeth! Damn it, now I have to get out of bed."  
  
"No, you taste of warmth and sleep." Ephram wrapped his warms firmly around the taller boy's hips. "You're awake?"  
  
"Yeah," he agreed rolling to the side to face Ephram, "why?  
  
"I think we should get the uncomfortable bit of the visit out of the way."  
  
"Oh, please let's not." As he moved away from him slightly.  
  
"Chloe told me about how you're parents took you back in." Ephram had been in their apartment when they had thrown their son into the streets, he had lived with the Browns for three months. Jackson said nothing he simply looked away. "Are you ok? Are they ok?"  
  
"I don't want-"  
  
Ephram interrupted him, "You'll have to tell me sometime, isn't it best to get it over with? While it's just us, warm and safe in bed?"  
  
"If you get this question I get three."  
  
"Ok."  
  
He sighed and said softly, "They're trying."  
  
"Yes, they're very trying."  
  
"Hey!" he sounded suddenly angry, "I'm baring my fucking soul here. Save your snide commentary to use on someone else."  
  
"Sorry, love, I'm sorry."  
  
"I know that you have some idea about this. I know your dad isn't exactly thrilled about you but at least he isn't outwardly hostile."  
  
"Sometimes I wish he was. It would be better than him pretending to be clueless. Your parents screamed when you told them. My dad just smiled benignly like he was lost and told me he had to go out. And last night, it was so obvious he recognized you he just didn't want to deal with it."  
  
"He loves you."  
  
"Your parents love you."  
  
"Yeah, they're just also disgusted." He grimaced.  
  
"That's not true, they just . . . need time." Ephram shrugged.  
  
"It's not like I want them to introduce me at parties, ya know? 'This is our gay son, Jackson, we want him to march in the parade but he has no pride,' I'm not asking for that."  
  
"Really? 'Cause I would love it if my dad did that to me," deadpanned Ephram.  
  
"They tried to buy me off with a Fender. It was rather pathetic."  
  
"Did they know you were . . . did they know you were coming to see me?"  
  
"Yeah, my dad gave me gas money, my mom helped me pack and neither of them looked me in the eye. But they said to say "hey" to you."  
  
"No they didn't, but that's ok . . . God, I'm sorry."  
  
"It's ok. Now I get my three questions!" 


	12. 12

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part: 12  
  
Thanks Jenn, for the beta  
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring. Thank you to everyone who has already sent me lovely note! And to the people who sent me corrections!  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I reserve the right to call the questions stupid."  
  
"You call everything stupid. . . you're such a cynic."  
  
"I know it turns you on."  
  
"Why did your dad grow that beard?" asked Jackson with an indulgent smile at Ephram's words.  
  
Ephram stared at him, "What?"  
  
"That's my first question."  
  
"Oh, umm he wanted to distance himself from New York and he told everyone it was to be more "country doctor-y"."  
  
"I see," he said slowly and then shot out the next question quickly like a cop on TV interrogating a criminal. "Do you like it here?"  
  
"It's cold, I have no friends, it's not home, it's dull, and everyone is in everyone else's business. I fucking hate it. But I can't go. Mom must have had a reason to want us to move here, she couldn't have sent us to this godforsaken place on a whim. And I'm finally getting along with my dad. We aren't friends but we rub along, I mean we're not *that* openly hostile anymore. That's good right? We can have a civil conversation without shouting, or him putting his foot in it, or my marching off. I can't just run away from my problems here, it's like," he paused and looked at Jackson for some form of affirmation, "it's like we're an actual family for the first time ever."  
  
"That's good." Jackson smiled as he stroked Ephram's face. "Third and final question: this good son act? It's not an act is it?"  
  
Ephram looked away for a moment, "I," he paused, "back home I didn't know what the hell to do. I had you and our friends, most of whom never really liked me. We had a huge group of friends, thirty or forty people and none of them knew me they just. . . idolized me. Is there still a fan club for me?"  
  
"I think they changed the title from, "We Love Ephram Brown," to "We Love Orlando Bloom,"." He grimaced, "Sorry."  
  
"What a pity," said Ephram dryly. "So I had you, and a few people who gave a damn about me. And Mom was busy with Delia and Dad was busy with everyone who *wasn't* his family. So I did what any normal teenager would do. I got drunk, got a piercing, got arrested."  
  
"12 times. But you don't have your eyebrow ring now?"  
  
"Dad held me down and pulled it out the day before we moved. I hated him for it."  
  
"I like your hair." He said running his fingers through his short hair, "I was a little surprised when I saw it being natural and not say, purple, but I like it. It's. . . different." He smiled.  
  
"Most people would think purple was different-er." He said it dryly and looked away to cover his smirk.  
  
"Look at this, I arrive and within twenty-four hours you can't make your mean little digs without smiling."  
  
Ephram smiled and rolled back into Jackson's side. "But see, now, I don't need an eyebrow ring, I don't need to get arrested." He blushed. "I already have all the attention I need. He pays enough attention to rip pieces of metal out of my face. That shows he cares. That's all I ever really wanted. I hated him for not being around. Now he's around. He's figured out how to make toasted cheese sandwiches and that's all I really wanted. Have I now lost all my hardcore-ness and street cred?" he spoke in his special sardonic that made most people assume that he hated them. They never realized the only person Ephram truly hated was himself.  
  
"No. . . you just seem happier. I like the look on you. It's nice to see you," he smirked, "well adjusted."  
  
"Was that an insult?" asked Ephram incredulously.  
  
"No, I'm serious, it's just odd to use you and well adjusted in the same thought."  
  
"Thanks," Ephram said sarcastically. "But really, this is coming from the same boy who responds to the statement "I need to piss," by tightening his grip."  
  
"I knew you wouldn't. That lays beyond you on the kinky scale."  
  
Ephram smiled peacefully, "Question?" Jackson nodded. Ephram nodded to the jacket on the floor. "Where's your passport?"  
  
"Oh," Jackson laughed, "I got a safety deposit box. The glove compartment just didn't seem safe enough anymore."  
  
Sitting up Ephram stared at him, "And *I'm* the newly well adjusted one?" 


	13. 13

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part: 13  
  
Rest found here:   
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring. Thank you to everyone who has already sent me lovely note! I know this chapter took forever but the show is sucking right now. Sucking so hard in fact that my muse fell into a black hole, poor baby. Ephram is way OOC in the show itself. He's not an idiot, he's always been the insightful one.  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ephram didn't like that it was Saturday. After tomorrow he would have to go back to school. Jackson went to take a shower and left him alone in bed to get his thoughts together. He had a week, seven days, to bask after that he had no idea what would happen. Hearing the water turn off in the bathroom he stood slowly. Cleanliness and food were at the top of his priorities right now: get clean, get fed, get your life together.  
  
"Shower's yours," said Jackson softly from the door which he shut behind him and dropped the towel from around his waist, "I'm gonna go get something out of my car, I forgot it last night I was too busy seething about Shiny."  
  
"Bright," corrected Ephram.  
  
"I'm well aware of his name, Phram." Jackson said as he stepped into his jeans.  
  
Smiling Ephram said, "When you first came here I was Eff and now I'm back to being Phram? It's nice."  
  
"You were about to kick my ass when I first got here. And I fear you when you're angry." He kissed Ephram with a chaste kiss. "You smell edible."  
  
"I smell of cum."  
  
"Yep," Jackson smiled, he paused, "Are you sixteen yet?"  
  
"As of a week ago. I know what you're thinking. This is legal. It wasn't when I was fourteen though." Ephram smiled at the older boy as he walked to get a towel. "My father won't go to the cops for statutory rape, after all, then he's have to admit to knowing." He laughed, "Go get your "thing" from the car. Then we'll do something later. I could take you to the pinnacle of culture: the mini-golf range."  
  
"You're fucking me," Jackson's voice was flat and Ephram turned back to him with a slow happy look dawning on his face.  
  
"And vice versa."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hi," Madison said upon entering the kitchen. The boy caught her off guard. He was eating a bowl of cereal while standing at the sink. "They've invented this cool thing called a chair."  
  
"And generally I find them to be a novel and useful piece of furniture but I need to go to the mechanic's." He smiled and drank the last of the milk out of the bowl.  
  
"You're leaving?"  
  
"No, I forgot Ephram's peace treaty gift last night. I was too busy getting pissed that some idiot thought he could hit on my boy." She smiled, he didn't like the condescension in her face. He felt badly for his prejudice against her. He couldn't be sure if there truly was arrogance in her look. The fact was he didn't like anything that tied Ephram to the town, she was one of the few things that did. And so he was predisposed to dislike her. Trying to make amends for his unjust thoughts he said, "It's nice that you're here for him. He needs that. He doesn't need a mother, or your advice," he added the second one on a hunch and her slight reaction confirmed his thought. Ephram didn't need anyone to explain life to him, it was one thing he understood unequivocally, "He doesn't need anyone to tell him how to get by. All he needs is someone nearby for when he falls. And I'll be in New York after this week."  
  
Madison nodded, "I know, he doesn't talk to Andy."  
  
That hit a nerve. What exactly had Ephram told the girl? He tried to like Andy, he tried. And he tried to prove to Ephram that Andy wasn't too bad when compared to his parents. . . but then Jeffrey Dahmer wasn't too bad when compared to Hitler. "Oh he talks, he just stops when Andy never listens." Madison didn't get what he was saying. Hadn't she just said that? He saw her confusion and said, "You make it sound as though he cut his father out long ago. It's the other way around. Ephram didn't just decide his father would never acknowledge him, he had to test it."  
  
He put his empty bowl in the sink, "Excuse me." He walked past her and up the stairs. The bathroom door was locked. He pulled an old lock pick out of his back pocket. He fiddled about for a moment and then had the door open and then shut it behind himself. Throwing the curtain back he smiled at his soapy boyfriend, "I'm going to the car now."  
  
"And?" asked Ephram with a confused look.  
  
"And I officially hate this town." 


	14. 14

Title: Tastes of Home  
  
Writer: Azure K Mello  
  
Part: 14  
  
Rest found here:   
  
Feedback: Please! I wait for it like a trained dog, plus I like to know what people are thinking, it's reassuring. Thank you to everyone who has already sent me lovely note! I know this chapter took forever but the show is sucking right now. Sucking so hard in fact that my muse fell into a black hole, poor baby. Ephram is way OOC in the show itself. He's not an idiot, he's always been the insightful one.  
  
Other notes in prior parts.  
  
Thanks for beta-ing Jenn!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jackson took everything in as he walked. There was an Italian- Chinese restaurant. He walked by a diner that seemed to be the Mecca for teenage life. No one was on the street. He saw curtains flicker as he walked by first story windows. The town was so pathetic, if he could cause a stir this easily he would have loved to see how they reacted to the old Ephram, the one who did every thing to excess and at the top of his lungs. And though he was loath to admit it, he missed that other boy just a little. It wasn't that he didn't like to see Ephram happy and stable, he did. He was just sad that he hadn't witnessed the transformation. For so long he had acted as the boy's rock. Then he screwed it all up and missed the thing he had always wanted to watch, he had missed seeing Ephram finally settle into his own skin.  
  
He blew out his breath hard and its cloud blocked his vision for a moment, his own personal plume of mist. New York's winters would never again seem quite so bad. He thought of Thanksgiving, it was only November, why was the place so cold? He wondered idly if he could get Ephram to come back with him for Thanksgiving. Well if he couldn't bring the boy to New York perhaps he could bring New York to the boy. Slowly, he silently made a list of things that had to be done. There were at least seven people he needed to talk to, and there was food to be bought. A satisfied smile played on his face as he thought of the event. He got all the way to the Duct Tape Chariot without realizing he was being followed.  
  
It was only as he climbed into the back seat of his old Buick that he saw the shock of blond hair. He leaned out of the door, holding onto the frame, and said, "Light, right?"  
  
"Bright," corrected the local. "Car fixed?" he asked trying to cover his glee.  
  
"Bright, that's right, sorry. Um, no the car is not fixed. It doesn't matter though, I'm staying with Ephram for a week. So what can I do for you, Bright?" asked Jackson, using the boy's name again, as he dove back into his car.  
  
"I can't think of any way to say this that isn't just corny."  
  
Before Bright could continue Jackson burst out laughing. "Christ on a crucifix!" He lost his words to a current of laughter.  
  
Bright was confused for a minute, "What?"  
  
"There are two dozen people who could tell me not to hurt Ephram. You aren't one of them." Jackson didn't leave the confines of the car as he spoke. Under a pile of sweatshirts, that were sandy from the group's last trip to the beach, he found what he was looking for. "Ah-ha!" He stood up triumphantly and shut the car door, locking it. "You're still here."  
  
"I wasn't going to tell you not to hurt him. I was going to tell you to leave. Leave as soon as possible. He doesn't need you coming back here and fucking him over again."  
  
"Why don't you go and pick on someone who will actually care?" Asked Jackson as he stepped closer to the boy. "Tell me. What upsets you more? The realization that he and I are back together or the fact that he will never fuck you?"  
  
A fist came speeding towards Jack's face but laughing, he caught Bright's wrist and twisted the hand backwards. The yelp escaped before Bright could contain it. Jackson stepped forward and closed the gap between them, he lorded his two extra inches of height over the blond. "You should be careful. Don't pick fights you can't win." He walked away without saying another word to Bright but he muttered soft to himself, "Ephram's gonna be pissed as a polecat." 


	15. 15

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 15 

Rest found here: http/ I haven't even watched Everwood this season because no one is acting like themselves.

Other notes in prior parts.

Thank Viridiana for the update because it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't asked (see the power of feedback)

* * *

Oh Christ, he thought, Phram will be angry: I just threatened his best friend. He tried to rationalize it to himself. Light had been trying to break them up, it was his right to be angry. Even Jackson knew he was making lame excuses for himself but he hoped Ephram would forgive him. The blond had been concerned about his friend's welfare and Jackson had goaded Bright into attacking him. The only thing on his side was that Shiny had started it and yet still had an unbroken nose.

He had to work quickly, recover the ground he had lost. Seeing the train station he gritted his teeth and walked into the building. Upstairs he saw an older woman and he feigned a smile. "Hi," he said making a lot of eye contact. Why was he so desperate for these people to like him when he didn't want anything to do with the town? "Could I please talk to Dr. Brown?"

"You're a new patient?" asked Edna as she looked over the redhead. "There are some forms you'll need to fill out."

"No I'm a friend of his son's," Jackson smiled. Yeah, he was Ephram's friend. "I sort of need to arrange something with the good doctor."

"Well, go right in!" she said with a warm smile.

He knocked and was promptly told to enter. Andy smiled at him as he walked in, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well, I wanted to talk to you alone about your Thanksgiving plans," he sat down in the patients' chair in front of the man's desk.

"I don't really have any," said Andy feeling a little bewildered. "I just thought I'd do a quiet dinner with the kids."

"Well, I was thinking. Julia used to have awesome Thanksgivings with the apartment full of people and music. What if you had all of your Everwood friends over and I brought some of Ephram's old group? We kids can cook. I think it would be great."

Andy smiled, "What's the catch?"

With a polite laugh Jacks said, "Well, we'd be using your kitchen, you'll end up paying for most of the bill, and the city kids would be very grateful, I'm sure, if they could bunk down at your house. You won't have any problems with the cops," he added, "no one will be getting up to their old mischief."

Looking taken aback Andy said, "That's not a bad price. I think the kids will be really happy. We have the room and if not some people can sleep here." One thing that could always be said about Dr. Brown was that he was never mean with money.

"Wow, great! I'll arrange everything. Is there anyone you'd like us to bring from New York for you? Jay has a huge SUV."

"Thanks, I'll think about it."

"Ephram and Delia will be thrilled. You should tell them over dinner."

Confused Andy said, "It was your idea. You should tell them."

"No," he smiled, "I think they'd like to hear it from you." Getting up he smiled again, "I should go and start the arrangements. Have a nice afternoon."

* * *

"Clo, hey, it's me," he said standing in a phone booth.

"What the hell is going on? Are you on your way home? Tell me that Eff didn't take those knuckledusters out of retirement."

"Retirement?" he laughed. "He only used them the one time."

On the other end of the phone he could hear her sigh, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, Chloe, we're back together," he paused as the girl let out an inhuman shriek, "I'm staying the week."

"How the hell did you pull that off?"

Smiling Jackson said, "By being totally honest."

"Whoa, novel idea."

With a second audible smile Jackson said, "Seriously. I need some help from you though."

"Yeah?" The girl was always willing to be of assistance. He told her about the conversation he'd had with Dr. Brown and asked her to phone around and see who could come. "Sure. Who am I calling?"

"Jay, Jax, Andy, Janet, Dave, Olivia, Danni, Catherine, Maria, and Spence."

Making a gagging noise she said, "Are you sure about those last three? You know they got kicked out-"

"For dealing heroin," he interrupted, "I know. But Ephram likes them."

"Only 'cause they gave him shit for free."

"Yeah, well, they don't touch it themselves and they won't bring any with them. They're nice and Ephram likes them."

"Ok. Ok. Fine."

"I'm gonna order a turkey in this godforsaken town. I'll call you later."

With another sigh she said, "Is it really godforsaken?"

The bile raised in him, "It's a hole, it's tiny, desolate, and he doesn't have friends 'cause they're all so goddamn backwards. And if I can't bring him to the city I will bring the city to him. He seems lonely and his family is playing at "Little House" and that makes him happy but. . . the Great Ephram Brown only has one real friend here and I don't like it." The rant finished as he swallowed.

"You're _really_ back together aren't you?"

"I just don't want to fuck up again, I hurt him once already. I can't mitigate that, but I can try to make things better for him now."

"I'll call everyone. Take care of your boy for me."

* * *

As he walked towards the house he saw Ephram on the back porch. The boy was pacing, smoking, and looking generally agitated. So, he'd heard. The blond himbo must have called him.

"Phram," he said softly as he walked up the steps, "I'm sorry."

"For doing it or for me finding out?"

"For you finding out."

"Well, at least you're honest. You sprained his wrist."

"No. I rotated it, there's a difference. Did he tell you what happened?"

"He said he lost his temper and almost hit you."

"Oh. Well. He tried to bully me into leaving into leaving you and when I refused to be scared he got angry."

Somewhat shocked and subdued Ephram asked, "What?"

"I know he's your friend and was trying to protect you but he's a bully. And when he got a taste of his own medicine he "lost his temple" and earned himself a rotated wrist. So I'm sorry you're upset but he's an asshole."

"He tried to run you out of town?" Ephram said still in shock.

"Yeah," Jack stole the smoldering fag from between his boyfriend's fingers and took a drag. With a mock pout he said, "It reawee hu't my feewings."

"Poor thing," said Ephram with the shadow of a smile. "Please don't rotate any more of my friend's wrists. Ok?"

"Scout's honor."

"What else did you do?"

"I started to arrange a surprise with your dad-"

"What!"

"-you will learn more at dinner. Phoned home, and picked this up from the car." He held the bag outstretched to Ephram.

"What is it?" he asked.

Laughing Jackson said, "Take the bag and see. It was supposed to be a peace gift."

Still not moving the younger boy said, "You didn't have t-" 

"Phram, take the fucking gift. You'll like it."

The boy finally took the bag and looked inside. A new wave of shock washed over him and he said, "Jesus."

"Good?"

"How did you get them?"

"Ebay, some guy in Europe sent them to me."

Looking at the five manga comic books Ephram breathed, "Wow, these aren't being published over here for another year."

"Glad you like them."

Ephram leaned up to kiss him. On the back porch. In daylight. Anyone could have seen. "You can be so awesomely thoughtful."

"I try," agreed Jackson.

With a small Ephram said, "I'll talk to Bright. Ignore him."

"I never give into bullies," the older boy assured his lover. "You said something about mini-golf?"


	16. 16

Title: Tastes of Home 

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 16

NOTE: I haven't even watched Everwood this season because no one is acting like themselves.

Other notes in prior parts.

* * *

The mini-golf range was packed. Delia was picking between a gem green ball and a forest green ball as the boys raided the snack machine. "Kidtastic, do you want peanut butter or caramel accenting your chocolate?" asked Jackson.

"Peanut butter," she replied as she finally picked her ball, "why are you guys getting all that junk food?"

"Provisions," her brother answered, "we have eighteen holes to get through: that might take some time."

Giving him an idiot look, she sneered, "You only hit the ball seven times at each hole."

"That's if you play by the rules." Ephram picked up a score sheet, "Are we gonna keep track?"

"No," Jackson looked disgusted at the idea of it. Throwing a bag of chips to Delia he said, "Let's hit the fake grass."

In the course of the game they got through four bags of chips, six sodas, three large bars of chocolate, and a bag of marshmallows. Jackson had to get a second golf ball when the security guards wouldn't let him retrieve his original one from the blue waterfall. Delia constantly got the ball into the hole in under fourteen strokes. The boys faired less well.

As they walked home Jackson announced that he had won the game. Laughing, Ephram asked him he'd figured that out.

"Well," said Jackson, "I hit the ball the most so I won."

Ephram laughed again and squeezed the older boy's shoulder gently.

* * *

Madison was about to leave. After the kids went to the mini-golf park she cleaned up the mess of the morning. Having finished up all she could do she left Andy a note and picked up her coat.

Andy came in and was surprised, "Oh, you're going?"

"Jackson and Ephram took Delia out." She was about to go when she thought of what Jackson had said to her that morning, "Do you know what's going on in your house? Do you know who Jackson is?"

Not looking at the girl he said, "I'm not an idiot, Madison, I know what's going on."

"Oh," the revelation took the wind out of her sail, "so why don't you say something?"

"What can I say? There's nothing to say. He told me when he was fourteen. There's nothing to add."

"He told you?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Of course, I feign forgetfulness because it seems politest."

"You need to acknowledge what's going on. You need to tell him everything's ok."

"He knows that. I don't want to make him uncomfortable."

"He's sixteen: he's an idiot," she laughed when she realized Andy was a bigger idiot than his son but didn't say that. "He's not a mind reader, Dr. Brown. He needs you to let him know that everything's alright." Picking up her purse she resolutely announced, "I'm going home."

* * *

The kids walked up the steps laughing as it got dark. Delia walked into the house ahead of them but Jackson grabbed Ephram's hand so that he would hang back. The boy gave him a questioning look which could only be answered with a soft kiss, "The pinnacle of culture?" he said in reference to the mini-golf range. "It wasn't too lame with you there." He paused and saw that Ephram was thinking about something, "What?"

"It's gonna suck when you go home and mini-golf reverts back to being lame. People follow the rules when they play here. You know I'm not good with rules," Ephram said softly with a self-deprecating smile.

"I'll be back so soon," promised Jackson. He half leaned against, half sat upon, the porch railing and pulled the boy to him, "I hate being away from you for any period of time. Love you. Don't want to go home; I want to stay with you. You're so beautiful."

Ephram rested his head against Jack's shoulder, "You have to go home. We both have school."

Nodding, Jackson stroked the younger boy's hair and said, "But next year I'll be at Denver. And I'll see you all the time."

"Don't choose the school just to be near me. We'll make it work: even if you go to college in Norway."

With a shake of his head Jackson said, "Denver's got an amazing music program. You're a huge plus: not the complete reason."

"But what will happen when I want to go to Julliard?"

Standing and pushing his boy towards the door Jack said, "I'll call you nightly, and I'll play music with you over the phone."

Inside Delia was filling her dad in on the afternoon's activities. The kitchen was warmed by the heat of cooking. Andy smiled as he adjusted the oven's temperature. Turning to the boys he said, "I'm making meatloaf. Don't worry: Gino Chang's is on speed dial." Jackson laughed politely as Andy smiled and addressed the redhead, "Would you mind helping Delia wash up for dinner, upstairs?"

Before agreeing he checked to see what Ephram thought. The redhead saw the younger boy nod and said, "Of course. C'mon, Kidtastic."

Once the pair was out of sight Ephram said, "What's up?"

The boy could see his father was trying to be causal when he said, "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," Ephram didn't want to make it easier for his dad.

"Are _you_ ok?"

"I'm good. I'm awesome." He felt horribly uncomfortable with his dad looking at him.

With a smile Andy said, "When I saw him here I wasn't sure if I was supposed to know him so I pretended that I didn't know him."

"It wasn't convincing and it was horribly embarrassing as it was so obviously calculated," Ephram couldn't bring himself to be angry and just smirked.

"Really?" Andy paused and asked confusedly, "I really wasn't believable?"

"Not in the least."

Andy was still smiling in an uncertain, bemused way, "But everything's alright now? He really hurt you before."

That made Ephram smile. He hadn't thought his dad had noticed. "We're back together. I'm happy."

"Have we had the safe sex talk?"

Ephram's smile widened in spite of himself, "Several times. Plus, I know he's clean."

"Good."

"Is this touching but horribly embarrassing moment over?"

"Absolutely."

The boy walked upstairs still smiling as he listened to his boyfriend and sister laughing in the bathroom. The older boy was helping the girl to fill the large sink with bubbles. Jackson turned to say hi but paused when he saw Ephram's expression. He studied his lover with his unnerving eyes before he was greeted with a slow, lingering kiss. Delia made a gagging noise but they ignored her and Jack reached out to hold Ephram's face with his soapy hands. Ephram wound his fingers into warm curls of hair .

Breaking apart Ephram said, "Whatever you said to my dad: thank you. I don't know what you said but it worked. And you're awesome."

"I didn't say anything," Jackson laughed in shock.

"But-" Ephram didn't know what to say.

"Maybe he just woke up, Phram, maybe he finally realized that you needed a little approval."

After a moment of thought Ephram agreed, "Yeah." Kissing Jack he spoke against the boy's lips as he whispered, "You're _still_ awesome."

With a second gagging noise Delia said, "If you were anymore sweet, you'd be sticky."

Ephram soaped up his hands and nudged his sister gently with his hip so that he could reach the running water to rinse them as he said, "You're just jealous," and stuck his tongue out at her.

"So much to be jealous of," she said sarcastically and turned off the taps.

As she strutted out of the bathroom Jackson spoke with wonder, "We just got burned. . . by Kidtastic."

In the hall she passed her father who was standing frozen on the landing. He could see through the ajar door to the bathroom. He'd followed Ephram upstairs to find his old Kiss the Chief apron because he thought it would be funny. And because of following him he had heard every word and felt ashamed. As he watched he saw Ephram sit up on the bathroom counter and pull the taller boy to stand between his legs. They kissed slowly and he saw his son smile for the umpteenth that day and he realized how long it had been since he had seen Ephram smile.


	17. 17

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 17

NOTE: I haven't even watched Everwood since the middle of the third season because no one was acting like themselves.

Post Blind Faith

* * *

At dinner Jackson repeatedly stroked Ephram's arm. The dark haired boy seemed nervous now that his father was actually acknowledging that he knew about them. The slight touches seemed to calm him down immensely. Over dessert Andy said, "So, Jackson's coming here reminded me of our old Thanksgivings. And we spoke about it. Jack said he's willing to bring over some of your friends, Ephram, and whoever else we want form New York."

Delia started to bounce in her chair, "That's awesome! Is Danni gonna come? I like her."

Jackson nodded as Ephram said, "Whoa," he was slightly stunned, "that's great."

Andy nodded, "Won't that be fun?"

Everyone agreed.

* * *

Pushing Jackson against the bedroom wall, Ephram dropped to his knees and started to unzip the redhead's pants. "What are you doing?" asked Jackson with a laugh.

"Thanking you for convincing my dad about Thanksgiving."

"It was his idea," insisted Jackson.

"Liar, it's so sweet of you to give him credit."

With another huffed laugh Jackson said, "It wasn't convincing, it was only suggesting. And who needs credit when they've got their boy?" Instead of replying Ephram licked his boyfriend while keeping eye contact. Jackson thought his knees were going to give out before Ephram reached out to hold his hip and keep him upright. Staring at the supplicated boy Jackson saw love and happiness in Ephram's faced, "Missed seeing you like this," he panted.

"On my knees?" Ephram suggested as he pulled back to breathe.

"No," Jackson threaded his fingers into straight, dark hair, "happy. You look so much. . . younger."

"So," Ephram said between loving lips, "you like me looking young while you're in my mouth?"

Pulling gently at shiny locks Jackson whispered, "Pervert," with a shrug as if to say, "it's not my fault."

"Get on the bed," said Ephram as he stood on shaky legs, "I want you inside of me when you come."

* * *

The week went too quickly. Ephram felt the intense urge to cut school and gave in on Thursday. He spent the day in bed with Jackson doing schoolwork while his boyfriend made Thanksgiving arrangements. When Andy came home he asked if Ephram was sick because school had called in reference to his truancy. By that point the boys were downstairs on the couch, curled together, reading. "I have a cough?" Ephram had hazarded by way of an explanation.

"Oh I can hear it. Sounds really nasty," Andy agreed. "You'll be in on Monday though?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy." His dad nodded and went into the kitchen to tell Madison that he was home and she could leave.

It was decided at dinner that night that while Julia's parents, Ruth and Jacob, would come they would fly to Everwood. A few family friends were going to drive up with Ephram's friends; everything was set in motion. Ephram wasn't pleased at the prospect of having his maternal grandparents come as he remembered how poorly their last trip had turned out. But Andy had insisted that they come because it would be their chance to show Julia's parents just how functional they'd become.

"This is supposed to be fun. You won't be comfortable with them here," Ephram had protested to his father, "it won't be fun if they're here upsetting you."

"It will be," Jackson and his father had both assured him.

Now he was resting against Jackson as they, and Delia, and Andy sat in front of the television. "Who else did you invite?" he asked softly.

"All our friends. And the clique. I think everyone's excited. Chloe's mom is making that disgusting, delicious, cake, smash, fruit thing for us."

"I love that stuff!"

"Looks like yesterday's vomit tastes like heaven. Who will turn up from here?"

Shrugging Ephram said, "Nina, Sam, Madison, the Abbots will probably stop in."

"Fun," he said and then whispered directly into Ephram's ear, "and can we fuck on the dinning room table?"

Blushing deep red and looking at the screen and not his lover Ephram said, "Uh. . . not while everyone's sitting there."

With a gentle laugh Jackson stroked his boy's hair and said, "I love you too."

"Is this going to be fun?" he asked anxiously.

"Totally, Phram." He felt the urge to kiss Ephram but wasn't sure it would be appreciated as Andy was sitting in a lazy boy next to them.

"I trust you," Ephram said with a smile just before Andy informed Delia it was bedtime and Ephram sat up to hug his sister goodnight.

* * *

I know it's short, but it was the best place to break before the next chapter. 


	18. 18

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 18

NOTE: I haven't even watched Everwood since the middle of the third season because no one was acting like themselves.

NOTE 2: Post Blind Faith

* * *

He slid out of bed silently and went down stairs in only his pajama bottoms. He didn't want Jackson to go home. Their week had been perfect. But now it was Saturday and, with the twenty-seven hour trip in front of him, Jackson would have to leave if he wanted to get back in time to have a decent night's sleep before school. Ephram understood, logically, why it had to happen but he wasn't happy.

So he went downstairs to make breakfast. If he had to send his boy off he would feel better about it if Jackson at least left on a full stomach. Lighting a cigarette he pulled the eggs, milk, butter, and bacon out of the fridge. The bread was on the side by the toaster all ready and waiting. Pulling out the two pans made some noise and after a few minutes his sister came in wearing her pajamas too.

"Did I wake you?" he asked feeling badly.

But Delia shook her head, "I was awake. I was just waiting to hear someone else down here."

"Oh good. Do you want breakfast?"

The girl nodded and said, "Dad hates it when you smoke downstairs."

He laughed bitterly and snapped, "Yeah, but he hates it more when I smoke in the streets!" He sighed, "Sorry, I'm just tense. Jack's going home today."

"Why?"

"He has school on Monday."

"So you're not breaking up again?"

"No way."

"So you won't be all miserable again?"

That made him laugh a little feeling less tense at the sad note in Delia's voice. "No. But I probably won't be a barrel of laughs for the next few days."

"Right, because usually you're as fun as a petting zoo," she replied sarcastically.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I'm sorry, Delia. I know I suck at times."

"No," she said softly, "what sucks is that you're sad." She rounded the island to hug his around the waist. He stroked her hair and she tried to lighten the mood saying, "I'm gonna go wash my teeth and brush my face." Pulling back she said, "You smell like an ashtray," and ran out the room.

Shortly after he had started breaking eggs Andy walked in to the room. By now Ephram was on his second cigarette. "You know I hate it when you smoke in the kitchen?"

"Yes, do you want white toast or brown?"

"Brown." He said as he played with the coffee maker. "I'm still hoping you'll grow out of it. You've grown out of most of the stupid stuff you did when you were thirteen. "

"You smoked for years," He said pouring the egg and milk mixture into the pan.

"Yes, but I quit when Mom got pregnant with you. Maybe you'll stop when you have the prospect of children. I mean, you could get sick."

That hit a nerve because Ephram remembered all the stupid things he started doing when he was thirteen. And he remembered when he was thirteen and a half and started dating Jackson. And he knew that he was never going to have kids. Already upset by the day Ephram was suddenly livid. "Yeah, you're right I could get real sick. Sadly it didn't start when I was thirteen."

"How old were you?" asked his father looking shocked.

"I was five when I realized that girls smelled funny and were losers while boys were cool and did good stuff. And my friends always wanted to play rescue helicopter and they would fight to be the pilot and I always wanted to be the guy in the make-believe water who got pulled out by strong arms. There's never going to be kids so I guess I won't have to quit."

"What?"

On a roll he didn't stop and got angrier, "And as I won't quit my disgusting habit I'll get _sick_ and die of AIDs. Right? That's what you're saying?" He shook the pan the bacon was cooking in and puffed at the comforting cigarette between his fingers.

"I was talking about Cancer and the fact that you started smoking when you were thirteen. At the same time as you started swimming while drunk. I'm not talking about being gay, Ephram, I know it's not some phase. I don't care who you're with so long as you respect each other and yourselves. What I care about is my sixteen year old son damaging his lungs and smoking in front of his little sister."

"Oh," said Ephram not looking at his dad but instead stirring the eggs. "I'm never having kids."

"You could," said Andy. "You could adopt, or have a female friend who was willing to help you. Being gay doesn't preclude children."

Ephram sagged. "Look, I'm sorry. I thought you were speaking in metaphors. And I'm just upset because Jackson has to leave." He took the last drag from the dog end of his cigarette and threw it into the sink.

Andy moved to hug his son and said, "He'll be back in three weeks."

"I know." Ephram returned the hug but didn't feel much better.

Andy was wearing the cologne Julia used to get him and Ephram remembered smelling it as she said, "This is what real men should smell of." And he'd thought it smelt good even at the time. All dignified and kind of sexy.

He pulled away and dished up the food while retrieving the toast from the toaster. Pouring the girl a glass of juice he called, "Delia, breakfast!" He handed his father a plate of food and left one on the counter while he tucked the carton of orange juice under his arm and picked up the remaining plates. "I'm going back up to bed. I'll see you later." He brushed by his sister and felt his father's eyes on his back.


	19. 19

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 19

NOTE: I haven't even watched Everwood since the middle of the third season because no one was acting like themselves.

NOTE 2: I'm changing the time line as I want Ephram to know about Linda's HIV prior to Thanksgiving.

* * *

He leaned against him saying softly, "So did you get what you came here looking for?" 

The redhead nodded, "Gino Chang's is really great Chinese food."

"Be serious," commanded Ephram with a small smile.

"I don't want to leave. . . no, I'm lying. I want to leave with you leaving with me."

"It's less than three weeks. It's not too long."

"Now you're lying."

"It's way too long," agreed Ephram with a smile. "But we'll talk to each other all the time."

That made Jackson laugh, "Of course. I need to find out about Kidtastic's book report."

"I'll miss you."

"I love you, Ephram. It's not so far away if we both remember that."

"Now we're both sounding like something out of Dawson's Creek. Get in the car. Make sure you remember stop and get food and maybe a nap. You did it at a breakneck pace on the way here and I want you to live to see Thanksgiving."

"I'll be careful," promised Jackson. "I'll call you when I'm home."

"Thank you."

"No, Phram, that's my line after this week."

"Well then. . . You're welcome."

He leaned in for a quick kiss and one last drag from their shared cigarette and said, "I'm getting in the car, I swear."

"Have a good trip, Jack, see you in three weeks."

* * *

"What's been going on over there?" He asked sitting on the floor of the apartment bedroom he shared with his two younger brothers. 

"There was a mine accident and my new piano teacher almost lost his arm. Bright got kicked off the football team because his grades suck. . . please don't gloat."

"No, that sucks. The more time he was on the field the less time he had to scope on you."

"Oh grow up!" Ephram tried to make it sound like a reprimand but he was laughing.

* * *

"What's happening at your end?" Ephram asked as he dropped down onto his bed on his back. 

"Olivia's older brother won a thousand bucks on a scratch off lotto ticket. But she had paid for it. But she's a minor. So he paid her back the five bucks and gave her half. Isn't that cool? She's bringing your dad a bottle of good scotch as a host present."

* * *

"I got a car. But that's not the cool bit. My mechanic? He's like a psychic. He told this kid he had Meningitis and he did." 

"Wait. The mechanic had Meningitis? I have a cold. Am I psychic?"

"No the kid had it. And my dad didn't believe it but sent him for the test and he really had it! Isn't that cool?"

"Yeah, that is. I have a cold."

Ephram laughed softly. He was so excited about Phil the psychic he could barely think about something as mundane as a cold. "I'm sorry, Jack. Get Danni to make you soup, she's good at it. Oh. . . my dad has a woman he's been obsessively hanging out with. She's seems nice enough. She's kind of condescending though. But she's Bright's aunt. . . Delia hates her, she's not Mom."

* * *

"So I was like, 'Guy, you can't fail me on a test simply because I forgot to write my name on it.' But he failed me anyway. Everyone made fun of me." 

"That sucks, Jackson."

"I know. Then we smoked up on the roof during lunch."

"Solid call."

* * *

"Amy's hanging out with this guy." 

"Good for her."

"No, he's massive sketch. He just got out of rehab."

"Phram, half our friends when to rehab."

"I know but it's different. Like, back home, you're parents smell a whiff of pot and you're in rehab. Here parents here aren't that vigilant so you've got to be pretty hardcore for them to wake up and smell the druggie."

"Oh, that is sketch. Does he deal?"

"Jackson!"

"I'm just saying, if you've met a friendly dealer you might as well take advantage."

* * *

"It's official, my parents suck." 

"Hello to you too, Jackson. Why do they suck?"

"Don't ask. How's your family?"

"My dad's officially dating Linda, Bright's aunt."

"Are you upset?"

"I don't know; I think he really likes her."

"I really like you."

"I needed to hear that."

* * *

"Nina's son Sam got into a car accident." 

"Isn't he like six?"

"I think he's eight, she fell asleep and he stole her keys."

"Wow, Ephram Brown, you might lose your title of "The Great" because you didn't start doing stuff that stupid until twelve."

"Hey, stop being clever."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, just freaked out."

* * *

"Amy failed three classes, her boyfriend really is a dealer, and passed out at a party. It freaked her out, she called her dad, she's living at home again." 

"And how are you?" asked Jackson after listening to the problems of all the people in Everwood.

"I think Madison's hitting on me. But I'm fine. I heard you got a new car?"

"Yeah, the duct tape chariot bit the big one. The new one belonged to a little old lady who drove to 7-11 to cash her social security, the grocers, and church. It's blue."

"Cool."

* * *

"Phram? Are you okay?" 

"My dad's girlfriend has HIV."

"What?"

"I know, it's something you need repeated because what middle class woman living in the suburbs has the hiv?"

"Drugs?"

"No, she's a doctor. She worked in Africa."

"Do you want me to come to you?"

"It's Monday."

"So? This is more important than school. Have you spoken to him?"

"I shouted at him at dinner. Delia knew before me and she told her friend that it was a secret and of course the girl told her parents and now the whole town knows. So Delia beat up her friend and dad grounded her. And I ended up shouting that Delia was stupid for her actions but that if Dad hadn't been fucking a woman with HIV none of it would have happened."

"He's sleeping with her?"

"Yeah. I'm freaked."

"You need to talk to him without shouting."

"Yeah, I know. I'd better go. Love you."

"You too, Phram. Everything will be okay in the end. And hey, I'll be driving out to see you in less than a week."

"Thank God."


	20. 20

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 20

NOTE: I haven't even watched Everwood since the middle of the third season because no one was acting like themselves.

NOTE 2: I've changed the time line as I wanted Ephram to know about Linda's HIV prior to Thanksgiving.

* * *

Ephram knocked and waited to hear the "Come in." As his father spoke he opened the door and smiled slightly. Putting aside his book and sitting up in bed Andy said, "Hi, Ephram." 

"Can we talk? I won't blow up."

"Sure."

"I'm not angry."

"Okay."

"And I wasn't going to say anything else because it's your personal life. But I'm part of your personal life too so I just feel I have to say this. And if you really listen I won't say anything else. Because if you really like her I don't want to make you unhappy but I need to say it."

"Right, why don't you sit down?"

Ephram sat on the bed and thought about his words for so long that his dad was about to prompt him when Ephram finally said. "I'm scared witless. I know that with straight, protected sex you probably won't ever get it. I know that HIV is a condition now with all the drugs and not a death sentence. But you could get it and conditions can turn deadly. And it scares me. Or you could not get it and everything could be fine and you could end up getting married and we could all be happy and a family and then she could become really sick and we lose our stepmother and you're left a widower again. And lots of couples decide that, as it's almost impossible to get it through straight sex, they're not going to use condoms. And after years of being in the relationship maybe that will seem okay. And then you get sick. I don't want to walk Delia down the aisle at her wedding. Abstinence is the only true safe sex and that's not really going to work if you really like her.

"And if you'd asked me about safe sex like you did the other day and I had said, 'Yeah, we're totally safe. We're really careful because Jackson got the hiv full-blown,' you wouldn't have just said alright. And I know it's different because you're straight, and the father, and an adult and I'm gay, and your son, and not an adult but I'm allowed to be frightened. And I don't have children who love and depend on me. And my boyfriend doesn't have the virus that can develop into AIDs. Linda's really nice. But there are lots of really nice women who aren't ill.

"You said you quit smoking for your children. I know she's a woman and not a habit but her diseases is just as dangerous as Cancer. I'll quit smoking if you stop seeing her. It could be our deal."

"No, you don't need to bargain. I'd like you to quit but you shouldn't have to do it as payment for being frightened. Thank you for talking to me. I need to think about this. You're right, I need to think about you and Delia first and foremost."

"Thank you, even if you decide to stay with her. I just thought you should know what I thought."

"Yes. Go to bed, Ephram. You have school tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

"So? Did you talk to him?" asked Jackson as he answered the phone the next night. 

"Yeah, I did. And I didn't even shout."

"Wow, what did he say?"

"He broke up with her because of what I said. I feel a little guilty. But he doesn't really seem upset. Not even, like, slightly quiet or too loud. He seems totally normal."

"Well, I'm glad everything seems fine. What about Linda?"

"I haven't seen her. But he asked if Delia and I would be okay with her coming to Thanksgiving as a total just friend. And I said of course."

"I'm glad. And do you feel better?"

"Yeah. He's even getting tested. Which is maybe overkill but it sort of makes me feel safer. Is it all sorted for Thanksgiving?"

"Yep. We're leaving in four days in convoy with all your dad's friends. Chloe's leaving a few hours before because her mom made that smash thing in bulk and needs it to be kept frozen. She said it's your Christmas present as well as the Thanksgiving dessert. So the only thing left is for you to find your mom's recipe for that ham casserole thing and her one for the turkey gravy."

"I'm so excited."

"For me or Chloe's mom's smash?"

"Um. . . you of course."

"Liar."

"Stop joking about."

"Hey, Ephram, this is no joking matter. You're having how many people at your house?"

"I think it's twenty-nine."

"Well then, if you want to taste the one you love-"

"That is a gross euphemism."

Acting like he hadn't been interrupted Jackson continued, "We're going to have to convince people it tastes like vomit as much as it looks like it."

"Oh, I see," said Ephram. "You're wrong. You're the one I love. I just want to have a long term affair with the smash."

Jackson snorted a laugh and said, "I miss you."

"Yeah, about that. To fit everyone in we need to share my room with two of the girls who will sleep on the pull out."

"No way!"

"It'll be okay. There's such a thing as nooners, showers, and my all time favourite: clandestine."

"You can't call sex on a dance floor clandestine."

"No one called us on it therefore, by my logic, no one saw."

"People are bringing pot, nothing harder than that."

"Okay, I don't think my dad will freak out. We just need to not be obvious. No one's used the railroad in fifteen years and my dad owns the tracks so we'll smoke down there."

"Cool, when do the turkeys arrive?"

"I can't believe you ordered two. They come the night you do."

"Awesome, we need to put them in pots of brine, lemon, and rosemary and let them cure overnight."

"You really have this sorted don't you?"

"Yeah, well, I figured that it should be perfect."

"It's going to be."

"What are you doing for the Grateful Book?"

"Oh, we're doing the Grateful Movie instead. I like to pretend it's more high-tech but really I'm just lazy. I already have the new tape for the camcorder."

"Cool, can I help with it? The girls won't let me do the actual cooking because they say I take too many chef tastes."

"You can be the video guy if you like."

"Awesome, I can be the pervert with a camera."


	21. 21

Title: Tastes of Home

Writer: Azure K Mello

Part: 21

NOTE: I haven't even watched Everwood since the middle of the third season because no one was acting like themselves.

NOTE 2: I've changed the time line as I wanted Ephram to know about Linda's HIV prior to Thanksgiving.

_**THIS IS A BREAK LINE**_

As he saw the familiar person walking down the hall and he smiled, "Now there's a sight for sore-" was all he got out before he was slammed into his locker and kissed hard and fast, "-head," he finished when he was let go of. He rubbed the back of his skull and said, "That was a great hello."

The short brunette smiled, "Ephram, I've missed the hell out of you."

"You too, Chloe. . . though maybe not the bruises."

"You're such a girl. So I went to your house, and you weren't there. But your grandparents were sitting in your kitchen making really painful small talk with your dad. So I put twelve one gallon containers of Mom's smashed dessert into the freezer and then got your sister's babysitter to drop me off here so that I could meet you and you could drive me back. It was kind of surreal: I never expected Kidtastic to have a sitter."

"You brought twelve gallons?"

"The Great Ephram Brown always focuses on the important fact. You're like a drug addict when it comes to that stuff."

"Yeah, but I haven't had a hit in over a year and a half."

"Well then it's a good thing I brought thirteen gallons."

"You said twelve."

She produced a large container from her back, "I said I put twelve in the freezer. I have two spoons in my back pocket. Pack you books and lead me to your car then we'll eat it all and no one need ever know there was a thirteenth gallon."

"I love how calculating you can be." Ephram began throwing books into his bag at a speed that not even Clark Kent would have believed possible.

Walking over Bright asked, "Dude, being chased by the hounds of Hell?"

"Bright, Chloe. Chloe, Bright," he introduced quickly. "Chloe's holding the best thing in the world, no one is even aware that that container exists, and the faster I pack I the sooner I can eat it."

Looking at the see through container Bright said, "What's in it? It looking like babies blended into marshmallow fluff."

"Home made whipped cream, vanilla cake, crushed meringues, strawberry sauce, chocolate fudge, raspberries, and pears. It's nice to meet you, you're Doctor Abbott's son, right? Ephram talks about you a lot." It was all said in one breath, easily and flowingly.

"Packed, Bright, come to Thanksgiving and you can try it there. Right now Clo and I need to see if we can devour this in under fifteen minutes."

"I take that bet and raise the stakes to ten minutes. A dollar?"

"You're on, bitch. Bye, Bright."

The pair were off like a shot before the blond boy could reply. "Bye then."

**_THIS IS A BREAK LINE_**

Sitting in Ephram's parked car still in the school car park the two friends were enjoying the snack. "So Jay was like, 'That's not a car, officer, it's a giraffe.' And we turned around and his mom was there. She called all our parents, we all ended up grounded."

Ephram laughed and said, "Man, I wish I'd been there."

"Phram, we all miss you so badly. We'll do really stupid things and someone will always say, 'This is so stupid but we could totally pull it off if Eff was here.' And it sort of sucks. And, like, when I got my tattoo I thought, 'If Ephram was here he'd do something to distract me from the pain.' And it really hurt."

"Next time slice a lemon into wedges and soak them in tequila. Bring them with in a bag and chew each wedge slowly. You'll concentrate on that and it will make you just tipsy enough to not care about the pain but not so drunk that the artist will refuse to continue the tattoo."

"You're amazing."

"No, just smart enough to learn from my own stupidity. Like, crashing a car into the Bronx Zoo to free the meerkats is awesome but it's just like the time we tried to fill Olivia's building's elevator with toilet paper; you know you're going to get caught. I would have pointed that out. A motorized Vespa would have been your best bet." He looked at the empty carton and asked, "Time?"

"Seventeen minutes and sixteen seconds."

"Damn it, I wanted that dollar. I'm so glad you came today instead of tomorrow. This was awesome."

"I lied about the smash."

"There aren't twelve gallons?" Ephram sounded panicked.

"No, there are. But I didn't need to come down a day early to freeze it."

"You used smash as a cover? That is so dirty."

"I needed to talk to you alone."

"Bad or good news?"

"I'm not sure. Remember when you and I auditioned for LaGuardia while stoned for that bet?"

"Yeah?" Ephram didn't see where she was going.

"And we won ten bucks from Jackson because we both got on the waitlist?"

"Yeah?"

"They called me last week because they didn't know your forwarding address. You're off the waitlist. You can start in the January term. I told them you'd call admissions once you'd thought it over."

"Oh, wow. I. . . my dad. . . I need to think."

"Of course. Don't make any decisions without talking to your family."

"Wow."

"I know it's huge. So I think we should go home and you should talk to your dad. And then I think we should go to the movies and bring everyone with us so your dad doesn't have to talk to your grandparents for a couple of hours."

"That sounds good."

"Ephram," she said, concerned, "you sound catatonic."

"LaGuardia pretty much feeds into Julliard." He put the car into gear and left the school.

"Yeah, Eff, it's pretty awesome. It would also be nice to have you back home."

"Chloe. . . I can't really do all that stupid shit anymore. I'm finally on good footing with my dad."

"Oh, that's okay. We don't do much stupid shit anymore. The thing at the zoo was ten months ago and that was our last thing. We're all getting to a point wherein we see that the best way to not get grounded is to not be morons. We don't get drunk and try to walk along the rooftop ledges anymore. We get drunk and play the piano and do Twister. It's still fun. No one's been arrested since you left. You were with us the last time we got arrested."

"That's good. I still don't understand how we got arrested for spitting off the Empire State Building."

"We were also dropping pennies."

"I had forgotten that detail."

As they pulled into the driveway Ephram parked and, after taking off his seat belt, gave Chloe another hug, "I'm so glad you're here."

They walked into the kitchen with his arm over her shoulder and hers around his waist.


End file.
